today was my first day of surgery posting in the general hospital. my lampah chee (balls) were shivering in fear even one week before the posting. the reason, the HOD is one hot head who will embarass you in front of the patients and staffs without the slightest show of sympathy or empathy. he onced made a guy stand in the middle of the ward and shout out loud 'I AM STUPID' repeatedly, for failing to answer his questions. he even chased a girl out of the ward, thru the corridor and into the elevator and the whole time calling her names of all the animals you would find in the farm, with the prefix 'stupid idiot'. he only stopped when the elevator door closed. and there were other ppl in the elevator.
but they all say he is a real nice guy after teaching hours and the only reason why he does what he does is so that the students will study. of course there are some out there who beg to differ.
personally i couldnt give a shit. i just want to survive his class with my pride and balls intact.
so the whole weekend i was reading thru my anatomy and surgery text books, remembering all the diagrams and facts that my micro brain can absorb.
woke up at 7.30am. class was at 8am. took my own sweet time to get ready. after all the hospital is just 3mins away by bike. but when i went out of the house, i realised that i had left my bike in the college and it was already 7.50am. so i had to walk to the hospital. when i reached the hospital, i kind of got lost finding my way to the surgery ward. i was never posted in the GH before. previously i was posted in the peripheral clinics.
when i finally found the room it was 8.05. i was relief cause when i popped my head in all i saw was my classmates hovering over the table and there was no sign of him. so i took a step in. JUST ONE STEP. and all the hovering heads lifted up, like the waves did when moses crossed the dead sea, and there HE was(not moses of course). his first words to me were:
GEEEEEEETTTTT OUTTTTTT!!!!
kanineh, cant be this suay rite!??! early early morning kena fuck alerady. how to kena 4D?!?!
HE: WHY ARE YOU LATE???
me: sorry sir. i got lost.
HE: GET OUT!!! THATS NOT AN EXCUSE!!! why were you lost??
me: dont know my way around sir
HE: GET OUT!!!! THAT IS NOT AN EXCUSE. HUH!!!! YOU HAD YOUR TOUR OF THE HOSPITAL DURING YOUR ORIENTATION AND YOU SAID YOU GOT LOST!!! GETTT OUTTTTTTTTT........
with that, i now have the distinction of being the record holder among my classmates for being thrown out the fastest in surgery class.
30seconds
thats how long i lasted in my fist surgery posting. the rest of my friends did slightly better. by 8.15, only 3 out of 12 people remained in class.
its going to be a real loonggg posting.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Friday, May 06, 2005
i got up at 7.30 this morning and did all i can to drag my flabby ass out of the bed. oh man, thank god this is my last day to tangkak. been going there for the past two weeks for my medicine posting. when i finished dressing, it rained heavily. i had no car or umbrella. i go to class everyday with trusty yamaha SRE and my brother's helmet which was once size smaller than my helmet (my helmet was stolen in college when i left it in the guard house. can you beat that!!! stolen in the guard house!!). so i was in a 'hmmm....should i bunk or waddle thru the rain' situation. no prizes for the right answer. all i can say is im bloody refreshed now
Thursday, May 05, 2005
last week my 16 year old sister got into a motorcycle accident. she got knocked by a car from the side as she was trying to avoid a big puddle of water in front of her. thank god she didnt get hit by oncoming cars. she only had some bad cuts and bruises over her face, arms and legs. the guy who hit her was a chinese man in his 60s. when he got out of his car, instead of coming to her aid, he just stood there by his car and made a call on his handphone. at this time my sis was pretty much in shock and pain. she was crying when she asked him to take her to the general hospital which was less than 5mins drive away. he was hessitant. the reason... because his car was a new honda city and he didnt want to get it dirty with blood. two malay motorist who happened to pass by at the time, stopped and helped carried my sister up and pushed the bike to the side of the road. after much chiding and insult from the malay motorists, only did the man agreed to fetch my sis to the hospital. in the hospital, my sister received prompt and efficient medical care and treatment by the medical officer and hospital staff on duty.
since we couldnt agree on whose fault it was that caused the accident, both party agreed to make a police report so that we can file for an insurance claim.
MESRA, CEKAP DAN BETUL
in the police station, our statement was taken by a lance corporal, whose was real nice and efficient. the report was done in 30mins. he then asked me to look for and pass a document to a Sargeant K, who was suppose to be at his desk but was missing.
MESRA??
i found the sargeant sitting under a tree and talking on his hp. so i asked him nicely and politely if he was Sargeant K to which he replied, "YA YA SAYA TAU APA NAK BUAT!! YOU TAK BOLEH DIRI DAN TUNGGU SANA SEKEJAP KAH!!!" kanineh!! got screwed just because i was trying to pass on a document.
BETUL??
he appeared after 20mins. he then said he had to take the statement all over again. i dont know whether if this is a normal procedure, but dont you feel its a bit redundant to take the report all over again. and before my sister could finish her story he said to her, 'ah kau yang salah, kau yang salah. saya kena saman you rm 300 sekarang.' when he saw that no bribe was forth coming he begin to get real restless with his work. half way thru, he said to my sister, 'ah dah bosan type la. you kasi type report you sendiri.' my sister's right hand was badly bruised and there was lacerations and abrasions at the thumb, index finger and small finger. when my sister protested and said she cant type, he gave a disgusting look as if she was lying and all the wounds was just special effects from a make up artist. when the report was finaly done, he insisted that my sister signed the report despite the lacerations on her right hand, when a simple thumb print with the left thumb was possible(earlier, the lance corporal took this course of action for his report) .
CEPAT??
this sargeant must be pretty bad at hearing or typing, cause what took the lance corporal 30mins to do took him almost 2 hours. and there was 3 or 4 more people waiting outside to make their report.
MESRA, CEPAT DAN BETUL thats the motto of our police force. sadly the way Sj.K conducted himself does not reflect those giant words imprinted outside the police station. it is safe to say that most malaysians do not hold the malaysian police force in high esteem. more often than not, we equate corruption and the police force together. i once had a friend who said to me "show me one clean traffic policeman and i'll show you a leprechaun." while his view is rather pessimistic in nature, that is the general feeling of the public. i do not doubt that there are good and honest policeman out there doing their best in their demanding job and making our country a safer place, for exampel the lance corporal in my story(whose name i regretfully did not remember or i would have added his name into my story). but the fact that there are so many wrong doing by the police that you just cant blame the public for their mistrust. i think its safe to say that us malaysians fear the police more than respect them.
ROLE OF THE GOVERMENT
measures taken by the goverment to boost the image of the police force is laughable and has done little to increase the publics' confidence because many feel that whatever action taken are merely for show. if the goverment really wants to impress the public, they should start taking serious measures like catching and prosecuting corrupted policeman instead of useless campaign such as KEMPEN KHIDMAT MESRA (Friendly Policing). whats the point of having such programs, when you are not doing anything to tackle the real problem-corruption. a cop will be dirty and remain so if there is no heavy deterrent to strike fear into them. why is it that our country has a relatively low number of cases in drug smuggling?? cause everyone, local and foreign, knows that it is punishable by death. im not advocating for the death sentence here, but merely to state my point for the need of a serious deterrent. i personally beleive that dirty policemen and politicians should be given harsher punishment for betraying the trust of the public. another solution is for goverment to set up an Internal Affairs agency, free from the influence and control of high ranking policeman. most countries have one and their sole purpose is so that the police officers are kept in line. you cant expect a cop to investigate another cop. to much sense of camaraderie can blind the investigating officer from his objectives. plus, an investigating officer can always be pressured by a higher ranking police officer who might also be on the take, to stray away from his objectives.
HIGHER PAY
much has been said bout increasing the pay of a policeman to curb corruption. it is our PM's view 'that if a person is greedy, no matter if he is earning a million dollars, he will still be corrupted.' while he might have a point there, i would like to stress that not everyone resort to corruption because they are greedy in nature. most of the low ranking policemen earn less that rm1000 a month and they have families to feed and care for. a policeman in a rural area might just get by with rm1000, but a cop in the city will definetly find it hard to put food on the table for his family and provide the basic needs of his wife and school going children. because of constant and sometimes desperate financial circumstances, a person can be tempted to take a bribe. a policeman might feel if everyone else is doing it, why should he not do it himslef. after all, he is just trying to provide for his family. going by this mentality, corruption is now not something wrong but something noble. this then sets off a terrible precedence. it is only human nature that we avoid the path of hardship and choose the path of least resistance if we know we can get away with it. so by increasing the basic salary of policemen in this country, at least we can help stop those policeman on the take who does it for his family. also to a certain extent, well paid new recruits with a young family will not be tempted to take a bribe. for a cop to be corrupted he must take that first bribe. it only become a habit if he gets away with it. if the need for the 'first bribe' never arises, we will have done a lot to curb corruption.
THE PUBLIC THEMSELVES
"wah, kanineh, that day i kena give police catch man. i quickly quickly throw my money under my seat and keep only RM10. and when the police man come i say i only got RM10. hahaha... so bodoh one them!!" sounds familiar?? how many of us know of people bribing a policeman after being caught for a traffic offence. how many of us have actually bribed a policeman and brag bout it to our friends and family members. its all base on the simple theory of demand and supply. if the public can hold on to a higher moral ground, we wouldnt be discussing bout corruption now. its not all the cops fault. admit it, you are dirty yourself!! if the public doesnt offer a bribe in the first place, the cop cant receive a bribe. i know rm300 is alot of money compared to rm10. again i ask of the public to hold on to higher moral grounds. at least if you pay the RM300 fine, the money goes back to you and the public indirectly thru whatever development that the goverment does with the money. if you bribe the cop, you are not only commiting a sin but also you lose all moral right in judging and critising corrupted policeman. as malaysians we are always fond of pushing the blame on others when something wrong happens. we never do look into ourselves and reflect on our course of actions, but rather cloak ourselves with a mirage of moral righteousness. to stamp corruption, we as the public must also play our role. pay the fine. you might be financially tight for that month. at least the hardship in on earth only and you will be safe from further hardship when your time is up.
after all said, it is still up to the government to take the necessary actions and the public to play their part. talk the talk yes, but please walk the walk to. it is time for us malaysians to shed our 'tidak apa' and 'takdir tuhan' attitude and be proactive in solving this national problem of ours. its not just a problem. its OUR problem.
since we couldnt agree on whose fault it was that caused the accident, both party agreed to make a police report so that we can file for an insurance claim.
MESRA, CEKAP DAN BETUL
in the police station, our statement was taken by a lance corporal, whose was real nice and efficient. the report was done in 30mins. he then asked me to look for and pass a document to a Sargeant K, who was suppose to be at his desk but was missing.
MESRA??
i found the sargeant sitting under a tree and talking on his hp. so i asked him nicely and politely if he was Sargeant K to which he replied, "YA YA SAYA TAU APA NAK BUAT!! YOU TAK BOLEH DIRI DAN TUNGGU SANA SEKEJAP KAH!!!" kanineh!! got screwed just because i was trying to pass on a document.
BETUL??
he appeared after 20mins. he then said he had to take the statement all over again. i dont know whether if this is a normal procedure, but dont you feel its a bit redundant to take the report all over again. and before my sister could finish her story he said to her, 'ah kau yang salah, kau yang salah. saya kena saman you rm 300 sekarang.' when he saw that no bribe was forth coming he begin to get real restless with his work. half way thru, he said to my sister, 'ah dah bosan type la. you kasi type report you sendiri.' my sister's right hand was badly bruised and there was lacerations and abrasions at the thumb, index finger and small finger. when my sister protested and said she cant type, he gave a disgusting look as if she was lying and all the wounds was just special effects from a make up artist. when the report was finaly done, he insisted that my sister signed the report despite the lacerations on her right hand, when a simple thumb print with the left thumb was possible(earlier, the lance corporal took this course of action for his report) .
CEPAT??
this sargeant must be pretty bad at hearing or typing, cause what took the lance corporal 30mins to do took him almost 2 hours. and there was 3 or 4 more people waiting outside to make their report.
MESRA, CEPAT DAN BETUL thats the motto of our police force. sadly the way Sj.K conducted himself does not reflect those giant words imprinted outside the police station. it is safe to say that most malaysians do not hold the malaysian police force in high esteem. more often than not, we equate corruption and the police force together. i once had a friend who said to me "show me one clean traffic policeman and i'll show you a leprechaun." while his view is rather pessimistic in nature, that is the general feeling of the public. i do not doubt that there are good and honest policeman out there doing their best in their demanding job and making our country a safer place, for exampel the lance corporal in my story(whose name i regretfully did not remember or i would have added his name into my story). but the fact that there are so many wrong doing by the police that you just cant blame the public for their mistrust. i think its safe to say that us malaysians fear the police more than respect them.
ROLE OF THE GOVERMENT
measures taken by the goverment to boost the image of the police force is laughable and has done little to increase the publics' confidence because many feel that whatever action taken are merely for show. if the goverment really wants to impress the public, they should start taking serious measures like catching and prosecuting corrupted policeman instead of useless campaign such as KEMPEN KHIDMAT MESRA (Friendly Policing). whats the point of having such programs, when you are not doing anything to tackle the real problem-corruption. a cop will be dirty and remain so if there is no heavy deterrent to strike fear into them. why is it that our country has a relatively low number of cases in drug smuggling?? cause everyone, local and foreign, knows that it is punishable by death. im not advocating for the death sentence here, but merely to state my point for the need of a serious deterrent. i personally beleive that dirty policemen and politicians should be given harsher punishment for betraying the trust of the public. another solution is for goverment to set up an Internal Affairs agency, free from the influence and control of high ranking policeman. most countries have one and their sole purpose is so that the police officers are kept in line. you cant expect a cop to investigate another cop. to much sense of camaraderie can blind the investigating officer from his objectives. plus, an investigating officer can always be pressured by a higher ranking police officer who might also be on the take, to stray away from his objectives.
HIGHER PAY
much has been said bout increasing the pay of a policeman to curb corruption. it is our PM's view 'that if a person is greedy, no matter if he is earning a million dollars, he will still be corrupted.' while he might have a point there, i would like to stress that not everyone resort to corruption because they are greedy in nature. most of the low ranking policemen earn less that rm1000 a month and they have families to feed and care for. a policeman in a rural area might just get by with rm1000, but a cop in the city will definetly find it hard to put food on the table for his family and provide the basic needs of his wife and school going children. because of constant and sometimes desperate financial circumstances, a person can be tempted to take a bribe. a policeman might feel if everyone else is doing it, why should he not do it himslef. after all, he is just trying to provide for his family. going by this mentality, corruption is now not something wrong but something noble. this then sets off a terrible precedence. it is only human nature that we avoid the path of hardship and choose the path of least resistance if we know we can get away with it. so by increasing the basic salary of policemen in this country, at least we can help stop those policeman on the take who does it for his family. also to a certain extent, well paid new recruits with a young family will not be tempted to take a bribe. for a cop to be corrupted he must take that first bribe. it only become a habit if he gets away with it. if the need for the 'first bribe' never arises, we will have done a lot to curb corruption.
THE PUBLIC THEMSELVES
"wah, kanineh, that day i kena give police catch man. i quickly quickly throw my money under my seat and keep only RM10. and when the police man come i say i only got RM10. hahaha... so bodoh one them!!" sounds familiar?? how many of us know of people bribing a policeman after being caught for a traffic offence. how many of us have actually bribed a policeman and brag bout it to our friends and family members. its all base on the simple theory of demand and supply. if the public can hold on to a higher moral ground, we wouldnt be discussing bout corruption now. its not all the cops fault. admit it, you are dirty yourself!! if the public doesnt offer a bribe in the first place, the cop cant receive a bribe. i know rm300 is alot of money compared to rm10. again i ask of the public to hold on to higher moral grounds. at least if you pay the RM300 fine, the money goes back to you and the public indirectly thru whatever development that the goverment does with the money. if you bribe the cop, you are not only commiting a sin but also you lose all moral right in judging and critising corrupted policeman. as malaysians we are always fond of pushing the blame on others when something wrong happens. we never do look into ourselves and reflect on our course of actions, but rather cloak ourselves with a mirage of moral righteousness. to stamp corruption, we as the public must also play our role. pay the fine. you might be financially tight for that month. at least the hardship in on earth only and you will be safe from further hardship when your time is up.
after all said, it is still up to the government to take the necessary actions and the public to play their part. talk the talk yes, but please walk the walk to. it is time for us malaysians to shed our 'tidak apa' and 'takdir tuhan' attitude and be proactive in solving this national problem of ours. its not just a problem. its OUR problem.
Friday, April 22, 2005
abrevations confusion
many times during our training, we were told never to treat the patient as a case but rather as an individual. hence we were encouraged to talk with the patient about other subjects and not just pertaining to the case, to built up better rapport and confidence in the doctor-patient relatioship.
last week, i had a pregnant mother who was at the polyclinic for her antenatal health checkup. as i went thru her records, under the pekerjaan(occupation) columm it was written "SRT." 'ah, a factory worker,' i thought to myself. so i tried starting a conversation with her.
ME: dah lama kerja ke kak??
mother:(puzzled look) agaknya.....dah lama juga
ME: kerja line ini susah tak?
mother: susah juga. hari hari kena kerja. tak de 'off'
ME: tak de cuti!?? betul ke?? habis gaji sebulan berapa??
mother:eh gaji, mana ada gaji?? tak de gaji la.
ME: (what!! slavery in this country!?!?) tak de gaji!!! mana boleh macam ini. you tak report sama jabatan buruh??
mother: huh?? mana ada orang report sama jabatan buruh!! apa dia orang boleh bikin??
ME: jabatan buruh boleh tolong dakwa dan bawa kes kak ke mahkamah.
mother: you gila ke!!
ME: tak tipu kak. biar saya tolong kak buat laporan. ini kilang SRT ini kat mana??
than the staff nurse shouted from behind me, "HOI!! SRT itu surirumah tangga la bangang!!"
last week, i had a pregnant mother who was at the polyclinic for her antenatal health checkup. as i went thru her records, under the pekerjaan(occupation) columm it was written "SRT." 'ah, a factory worker,' i thought to myself. so i tried starting a conversation with her.
ME: dah lama kerja ke kak??
mother:(puzzled look) agaknya.....dah lama juga
ME: kerja line ini susah tak?
mother: susah juga. hari hari kena kerja. tak de 'off'
ME: tak de cuti!?? betul ke?? habis gaji sebulan berapa??
mother:eh gaji, mana ada gaji?? tak de gaji la.
ME: (what!! slavery in this country!?!?) tak de gaji!!! mana boleh macam ini. you tak report sama jabatan buruh??
mother: huh?? mana ada orang report sama jabatan buruh!! apa dia orang boleh bikin??
ME: jabatan buruh boleh tolong dakwa dan bawa kes kak ke mahkamah.
mother: you gila ke!!
ME: tak tipu kak. biar saya tolong kak buat laporan. ini kilang SRT ini kat mana??
than the staff nurse shouted from behind me, "HOI!! SRT itu surirumah tangga la bangang!!"
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
MCP MPs
come this August 31st, our nation will celebrate 48 years of freedom from our colonial masters. compare our country 48 years ago and now, we have definetly made great strides towards the promising future. however, events in the dewan rakyat last week showed that despite us having blessed with a vibrant and growing economy and with one of the tallest building in the world, the mentality of some of our elected representatives are only as high as the fungus stuck on their petaling street leather shoes.
making the headlines is BN representative from tangga batu, idris haron who claims that MAS air stewardess deserved whatever sexual harrasment they received from male passengers because of their uniforms that they wear. according to this 'fashion stylist' of ours, the current MAS uniform is to seductive because it is designed with a low cut on the top front and a high cut on the back. air stewardess, he said, with their make up, voice and way they dressed, will make male passengers uncomfortable during a long and boring flights. and to higlight his point he quoted, "When your house door is unlocked, do you blame the robbers for robbing you?" while his comments are definetly chauvinistic, as a male you cant but feel insulted as well. he made it look as though all guys out there are lower animals(well, some women might agree man are lower animals, but that is another debate) who would lose all self control just because the woman dresses sexily. i flew MAS a few times and i dont think there is anything sexy bout their uniform. hell, the uniform is designed based on the baju kabaya. is he trying to say that all woman who wears baju kebaya deserved to be raped?!! has his wife never put on a baju kebaya?? oh pardon me, maybe she/they is/are forced to wear the burqua. after being roundly booed and hammered by woman MPs from both sides, he tried defending himself by saying that he made the comment after researching in the internet. maybe he was looking up at some taliban or pas website. and shouldnt he be researching on other more important issues to debate at in the parliment.
another person making the news is Badruddin Amiruldin (BN-Jerai). during a debate on the increasing number of divorce spouses in the country, badruddin stated, “what type of man would last with someone like the MP from Batu Gajah”. the MP he was refering to was Fong Po Kuan(DAP-Batu Gajah). in 1999, she was the youngest ever elected representative. nicknamed "cili padi" she is well known for her blunt and direct comments which has unsettled the nerves of a number of male MPs. few years ago she was thrown out of the parliment and suspended for 6months without allowance when she refused to back down on a corruption issue. badruddin comments caused a real up roar. credit should be given to the female MPs from BN who put aside their political differences to show support and solidarity for their female counterpart in the opposition. after a day and half of senseless debate on the statement, badruddin finaly made an apology and retracted his comment.
damm, and to think that this ppl had the nerves to asked for a pay rise. whats the point if we achieve our dream of becoming a developed country by 2020 when the mentality of our leaders and rakyat are still stuck in the 15th century. for our nation to become a truly developed, democratic and progressive country, there is a need for a serious paradigm shift in the way we think and live. until then, we are just fungus on a leather shoe.
making the headlines is BN representative from tangga batu, idris haron who claims that MAS air stewardess deserved whatever sexual harrasment they received from male passengers because of their uniforms that they wear. according to this 'fashion stylist' of ours, the current MAS uniform is to seductive because it is designed with a low cut on the top front and a high cut on the back. air stewardess, he said, with their make up, voice and way they dressed, will make male passengers uncomfortable during a long and boring flights. and to higlight his point he quoted, "When your house door is unlocked, do you blame the robbers for robbing you?" while his comments are definetly chauvinistic, as a male you cant but feel insulted as well. he made it look as though all guys out there are lower animals(well, some women might agree man are lower animals, but that is another debate) who would lose all self control just because the woman dresses sexily. i flew MAS a few times and i dont think there is anything sexy bout their uniform. hell, the uniform is designed based on the baju kabaya. is he trying to say that all woman who wears baju kebaya deserved to be raped?!! has his wife never put on a baju kebaya?? oh pardon me, maybe she/they is/are forced to wear the burqua. after being roundly booed and hammered by woman MPs from both sides, he tried defending himself by saying that he made the comment after researching in the internet. maybe he was looking up at some taliban or pas website. and shouldnt he be researching on other more important issues to debate at in the parliment.
another person making the news is Badruddin Amiruldin (BN-Jerai). during a debate on the increasing number of divorce spouses in the country, badruddin stated, “what type of man would last with someone like the MP from Batu Gajah”. the MP he was refering to was Fong Po Kuan(DAP-Batu Gajah). in 1999, she was the youngest ever elected representative. nicknamed "cili padi" she is well known for her blunt and direct comments which has unsettled the nerves of a number of male MPs. few years ago she was thrown out of the parliment and suspended for 6months without allowance when she refused to back down on a corruption issue. badruddin comments caused a real up roar. credit should be given to the female MPs from BN who put aside their political differences to show support and solidarity for their female counterpart in the opposition. after a day and half of senseless debate on the statement, badruddin finaly made an apology and retracted his comment.
damm, and to think that this ppl had the nerves to asked for a pay rise. whats the point if we achieve our dream of becoming a developed country by 2020 when the mentality of our leaders and rakyat are still stuck in the 15th century. for our nation to become a truly developed, democratic and progressive country, there is a need for a serious paradigm shift in the way we think and live. until then, we are just fungus on a leather shoe.
Monday, April 11, 2005
moral studies?? you must be joking...
i just cant believe it. im 23 this year and yet im being force to take moral classes by the government. i thought i was thru with moral studies after i finished my form 5 examination some four years ago. for my course to be recognised by LAN(lembaga akreditasi negara) they say that all students must do moral/islamic studies and also malaysian studies. i have 'studied' moral since i was 7 years old and i had covered malaysian studies under Pengajian Am during my form 6. to be forced to go thru the whole thing again is just a big waste of time.
when will the ppl in power come to realise that you cant instil moral values on someone by theory classes and examinations. do they really think they can create a society with high morality by having exams. if you ask me, the system is just encouraging the students to be more insincere and to breed a bunch of kaki bodek(cock suckers) who tells not the truth, but what the listener wants to hear. student with an A1 in moral studies is not necessary a moralled person. its most likely that he/she is just someone who is street wise enough to write what is politically correct or that he/she just happen to be lucky enoughto have come across the moral workbook with almost similiar questions.
only thru proper upbringing and religious guidance can one impart moral values in an individual. you dont ask a kid to memorise the definition of 20 different values and test him on which values you should apply in a given situation. if the ppl in power really feel this is the way to go, then they should catch hold and round up all those road bullies, corrupted politicians, double parking idiots, JAWI officials, mat skoedeng, nature destroying developers, lazy civil servants, racist leaders and even corrupted policeman together and give them an intensive 2 year pendidikan moral class. if these ppl actully become better rakyats as a result of the moral classes, i will have no qualms going for classes myself.
today during class, the lecturer actually took out a moral textbook and said, "this will be your bible." now, i know he meant it just as a figure of speech. but to have reached that level. the level of refering to a textbook, written by someone whose only motivation while writing the book is money, to find out what morality means. what happen to the real BIBLE. or the AL-QURAN. or the TORAH. shouldnt the younger generation be encouraged to read the holly books of their respective religion. why??? is it because these holly books dont have a a question and answer section or a multiple choice test after each chapter??
i applaud the director for the LRT advertisement. the behaviour potrayed by that ignorant man was a direct hit. how he refused to give up his seat to an old woman, pregnant lady and blind man is something most of us can relate to. i think many ppl out there actually felt embarassed by the action of that man cause most of them might have actually played the role of that ignorant man to perfection before. why cant we go back to the old days when there used to be community based advertisement. of how important national unity is in advertisement produced by Petronas during national day. or the importance of holding on to your family roots by Telekom. or the danger of doing drugs or drinking and driving by the health ministry. i think we malaysians relate better thru this sort of tv advert cause we kind of connect with the message that is being delivered across. we understand the message. we feel it. and we beleive in it. and somehow or rather, we feel this pricking in our hearts. urging us to change for the better. to be more like what is shown on the ad. because we are malaysians. and we are better than this.
now, you definetly dont get this feeling with an exam paper......
when will the ppl in power come to realise that you cant instil moral values on someone by theory classes and examinations. do they really think they can create a society with high morality by having exams. if you ask me, the system is just encouraging the students to be more insincere and to breed a bunch of kaki bodek(cock suckers) who tells not the truth, but what the listener wants to hear. student with an A1 in moral studies is not necessary a moralled person. its most likely that he/she is just someone who is street wise enough to write what is politically correct or that he/she just happen to be lucky enoughto have come across the moral workbook with almost similiar questions.
only thru proper upbringing and religious guidance can one impart moral values in an individual. you dont ask a kid to memorise the definition of 20 different values and test him on which values you should apply in a given situation. if the ppl in power really feel this is the way to go, then they should catch hold and round up all those road bullies, corrupted politicians, double parking idiots, JAWI officials, mat skoedeng, nature destroying developers, lazy civil servants, racist leaders and even corrupted policeman together and give them an intensive 2 year pendidikan moral class. if these ppl actully become better rakyats as a result of the moral classes, i will have no qualms going for classes myself.
today during class, the lecturer actually took out a moral textbook and said, "this will be your bible." now, i know he meant it just as a figure of speech. but to have reached that level. the level of refering to a textbook, written by someone whose only motivation while writing the book is money, to find out what morality means. what happen to the real BIBLE. or the AL-QURAN. or the TORAH. shouldnt the younger generation be encouraged to read the holly books of their respective religion. why??? is it because these holly books dont have a a question and answer section or a multiple choice test after each chapter??
i applaud the director for the LRT advertisement. the behaviour potrayed by that ignorant man was a direct hit. how he refused to give up his seat to an old woman, pregnant lady and blind man is something most of us can relate to. i think many ppl out there actually felt embarassed by the action of that man cause most of them might have actually played the role of that ignorant man to perfection before. why cant we go back to the old days when there used to be community based advertisement. of how important national unity is in advertisement produced by Petronas during national day. or the importance of holding on to your family roots by Telekom. or the danger of doing drugs or drinking and driving by the health ministry. i think we malaysians relate better thru this sort of tv advert cause we kind of connect with the message that is being delivered across. we understand the message. we feel it. and we beleive in it. and somehow or rather, we feel this pricking in our hearts. urging us to change for the better. to be more like what is shown on the ad. because we are malaysians. and we are better than this.
now, you definetly dont get this feeling with an exam paper......
Thursday, April 07, 2005
giving my first injection
today i gave my first injection(well, i had praticed on plastic arms before in my preclinical years but that doesnt count). it was a tetanus toxiod intramuscular injection on this malay woman who was pregnant. it all begin harmlessly. the malay lady was waiting all alone in the immunization room. so i went to informed the staff nurse. to my suprise she asked me, "lu mau inject?" and i said yes. of course i said yes. been dying to jab somebody for a long time. so she showed me the way to fill up the syringe and how to discard the excess vaccine. then it was time for the real thing.
man was i ready for it. or so i thought. there was a look of apprehension on the woman's face. so i put on a more than confidence appearance-like i have been injecting ppl since i was suckling. i swabbed her arm over the deltoid with a cotton drenched in alcohol. then i inserted the needle into her arm(later the nurse told me my method of administering the needle into the patient was very 'mengerikan, macam nak ambil roket tembak orang') . once the needle was in place, i had to aspirate a little to make sure i did not hit a vessel. it was in this period that i began to lose my confidence. the needle was a little flimsy because of the soft adipose tissues(fats) in the hand. i had to hold it firmly during the aspiration so that the needle does not come out of the hand. but at the same time i was afraid if i held to tightly, the needle might break if there was a sudden movement by the pts. as i was doing this, iwas carrying another cotton in my palm that is meant to cover the wound once i removed the neddle. caught in this purgatory of self doubt, my hand began to shake and i dropped the cotton. at that time i couldnt give a shit. once i confirmed that the needle was indeed in the muscle, i emptied the syringe and removed the needle. then it was, 'where the fuck is the cotton?!?!' and the lady's hand began to bleed cause there was nothing to compress it. and staff nurse was, 'mana cotton?? mana cotton?? cepat ambil cotton!!" with one hand compressing the wound, i used the hand to indicate where the new cottons are to my friend who thinks its a bloody joke. buggar still cant find the cottong despite me poiting to the area. after what felt like eternity the cotton did come and the bleeding stopped. and my heart started beating again.
man was i ready for it. or so i thought. there was a look of apprehension on the woman's face. so i put on a more than confidence appearance-like i have been injecting ppl since i was suckling. i swabbed her arm over the deltoid with a cotton drenched in alcohol. then i inserted the needle into her arm(later the nurse told me my method of administering the needle into the patient was very 'mengerikan, macam nak ambil roket tembak orang') . once the needle was in place, i had to aspirate a little to make sure i did not hit a vessel. it was in this period that i began to lose my confidence. the needle was a little flimsy because of the soft adipose tissues(fats) in the hand. i had to hold it firmly during the aspiration so that the needle does not come out of the hand. but at the same time i was afraid if i held to tightly, the needle might break if there was a sudden movement by the pts. as i was doing this, iwas carrying another cotton in my palm that is meant to cover the wound once i removed the neddle. caught in this purgatory of self doubt, my hand began to shake and i dropped the cotton. at that time i couldnt give a shit. once i confirmed that the needle was indeed in the muscle, i emptied the syringe and removed the needle. then it was, 'where the fuck is the cotton?!?!' and the lady's hand began to bleed cause there was nothing to compress it. and staff nurse was, 'mana cotton?? mana cotton?? cepat ambil cotton!!" with one hand compressing the wound, i used the hand to indicate where the new cottons are to my friend who thinks its a bloody joke. buggar still cant find the cottong despite me poiting to the area. after what felt like eternity the cotton did come and the bleeding stopped. and my heart started beating again.
article bout the pope
In the end, says a NEWSWEEK reporter who covered the pontiff for years, John Paul II will go down in history as one of the greatest popes ever. But he left serious issues to his successor to resolve-issues he wasn't willing to even discuss.
By Andrew Nagorski Newsweek April 2 -
In the summer of 1981 when I was posted in Moscow for NEWSWEEK, Solidarity was riding the crest of a euphoric wave in neighboring Poland. The free trade union had been operating openly for a full year, and the country was flooded with the dissident labor union's banners, pins, stickers and other mementos, including those that celebrated the pride of Poland, Pope John Paul II.The communist authorities would abruptly change course a few months later, declaring martial law and outlawing Solidarity. But those fair days were still a period when seemingly everything was possible, everything was permissible.That summer my wife, Christina, who grew up in Poland, was returning from a visit there with our three children. I drove out to Moscow's Sheremetyevo Airport and waited for them to arrive on a flight that was delayed and didn't land until midnight. I could see that our children, especially 1-year-old Adam, were exhausted as Christina maneuvered them and the luggage through the long customs line. To my relief, the customs officer, a young woman, saw what kind of shape they were in and began waving Christina's suitcases through without inspecting them. She allowed me to take the children and put them into the car. When I returned, Christina was all set to go, but at the last minute the customs officer asked her to open her purse. When Christina did so, the woman's face suddenly colored as she plucked out a key chain with a picture of Pope John Paul II and Solidarity leader Lech Walesa. "Oh, no, this won't pass," she sputtered. "Bring back everything." For the next three hours as the children slept in the car, she methodically searched every piece of luggage. And she refused to return the key chain.A year later, I was expelled by the Soviet authorities from Moscow because of their unhappiness over some of my reporting, and I was assigned to Rome, where I began covering the pope, regularly traveling with him on his many foreign trips. But for me, what happened that night at Moscow's airport remains as one of the most revealing incidents that I witnessed, a minor moment that said so much about the power of John Paul II. It demonstrated the fear that the Polish pope inspired in the Soviet Union, even at a time when the old guard still appeared firmly in command-and almost no one could envisage the collapse of communism that would begin in Poland by the end of the decade and quickly bring the entire system crashing down with it.But looking at events from their perspective, the Soviet authorities were absolutely right to fear that key chain featuring John Paul and Lech Walesa. Any assessment of this pope's place in the history of the church and of the last century will note that he helped trigger the incredible sequence of events that would bring about the implosion of the Soviet empire and its totalitarian system. With John Paul now gone, the summing up of his pontificate is already underway, his accomplishments and shortcomings are being hotly debated. Let me be blunt about my own preliminary judgment. I'm convinced John Paul II will go down in history as one of the greatest popes ever, one whose intense spirituality, intellectual brilliance and sheer physical stamina are beyond dispute. I'm also convinced that he has left some extremely difficult issues to his successor-issues he never confronted and wasn't willing to open up for serious discussion.It's hard to overstate John Paul's impact, reach and visibility. Consider the fact that his constant travels, which took him to more than 100 countries, meant that he logged the equivalent of three times the distance between the earth and the moon. Those of us who accompanied him, riding in what would be the economy class of the chartered papal plane, often felt as if we were part of an endless marathon, and our biggest challenge was just to keep up. On long stretches in the air, we couldn't tune out completely since we had to be prepared with the right question in case the pope made one of his walkabouts through our section. John Paul, who spoke an amazing array of languages with varying degrees of proficiency, had the daunting habit of answering questions in whatever language the questioner used.There were also the slightly surrealistic moments, particularly when local carriers were used as the papal plane instead of Alitalia, which usually provided this service. Richard Roth of CBS recalls a ride on an Air Gabon charter where the pilot announced: "Your Holiness, Eminences, my Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, the duty-free shop is now open."On a 1983 trip to Central America, we were loaded onto a Honduran airliner for a flight across rugged, mountainous terrain. At one point, the plane started losing altitude. At first, there were a few jokes in the press section about the next day's coverage: POPE DIES IN PLANE CRASH in huge type, with a tiny wire-service item buried deep in the package: DOZENS OF JOURNALISTS ALSO KILLED. But as the flight dropped lower and lower, silence descended on our cabin. We watched the Boeing 737 drop to within a couple of hundred yards over the treetops of a village before pulling up sharply and barely making it over the next mountain range. Later, we learned that the pope had been asked to bless the Honduran president's village as the plane flew over it, and the president had ordered the pilot to drop as low as possible to make that blessing stick.The first non-Italian pope in 455 years, John Paul II broke precedent after precedent, not just in terms of travel. One of the most significant examples was his reaching out to those of other faiths, particularly Jews. He became the first pope in history to visit a synagogue, the first to visit a mosque. Another was his willingness to apologize for the Catholic church's sins-for its treatment of Jews, for the Crusades, for its persecution of Galileo. American Catholics may have wanted something even stronger, but his speech to the American cardinals visiting Rome in April 2002, about the sexual scandals was incredibly blunt by Vatican standards.If his image is sometimes larger than life, he was also resolutely human. As a young pope, he continued to ski, swim and hike, which his predecessors would never have thought of doing. And even when he was old and ailing, he maintained his self-deprecating sense of humor. After his trip to Poland in August 2002, when he attracted a crowd of nearly 3 million for a mass on Krakow's Blonie meadow, he invited Maciej Zieba, the head of the Dominican order in Poland, for lunch with him at the Vatican. Zieba congratulated the pope on the "great event" in Krakow. "I remember a bigger event," the pope responded. He then told Zieba about a school outing in 1933 to the same site. The occasion was a military parade where Marshall Jozef Pilsudski, the prewar Polish leader, reviewed the troops. "That was a great event," the pope concluded. As Zieba puts it, "He still had a sense of irony."And there were plenty of ironies in Karol Wojtyla's career. Perhaps the greatest one was how the communist authorities in Poland misread him early on. Since he talked about faith and culture, not about what passed for politics, they believed he could be easily manipulated. As George Weigel points out in his excellent biography "Witness to Hope," party ideologist Zenon Kliszko vetoed seven candidates the church put forward to be bishops in the early 1960s; at that time the government had the power to block nominations. "I'm waiting for Wojtyla," Kliszko said, "and I'll continue to veto names until I get him." He got him soon enough, when Wojtyla was named archbishop of Krakow in 1964. The communists soon regretted their decision, but it was too late.The pope's commitment to faith and culture proved profoundly subversive. When I was reporting on the fate of religion in Eastern and Central Europe, I became aware of the scope of his encouragement for the faithful in places like the Ukraine and Czechoslovakia, where persecution was the norm. It wasn't just his public prayers for the "hidden churches" or his appointments of new bishops for these churches, even if they had to remain in exile. I talked with one of the Polish priests, dressed in civilian clothes, who traveled to parts of the Soviet Union to hold secret masses. As late as 1989, I went to a secret mass in the western Ukrainian city of Lvov that was attended by dissidents who had spent as many as 18 years in the gulag.If the pope was willing to promote clandestine activities when necessary, his greatest contribution to the downfall of communism wasn't covert at all. In public pronouncements on his visits to Poland and at every possible opportunity, he bore a simple message: faith matters, the truth matters, freedom matters, injustice must be condemned. His audiences knew what truths and what injustices without his having to spell them out, without his taking any overtly political stands. He encouraged such dissidents as Poland's Walesa and Czechoslovakia's Vaclav Havel to live "as if" they were free, undermining the elaborate system of lies that the communist system depended upon to survive. Once the pretenses were stripped away, more and more people realized they weren't alone with their dissident thoughts and began to act upon them. In talking about Europe's common spiritual genealogy, the pope was, in his own way, signaling that the Iron Curtain had to come down.Those convictions flowed directly from his Polish upbringing and his encounters with both of the 20th century's brutal totalitarian systems-Hitler's and Stalin's. His rejection of any system that crushed the individual, that degraded people into objects, was instinctive. So was his rejection of anti-Semitism, which he occasionally witnessed growing up in Poland. His effort to reach out to Jews and others of different faiths can be traced to the same roots.While the most dramatic public manifestations could be seen when he visited Jerusalem's Wailing Wall, I was struck by a smaller, private gesture. A few years ago, I spent a long afternoon interviewing a Polish priest who had discovered, only at age 35 when his "mother" told him the truth, that he was a Jew by birth. His natural parents had pleaded with a Polish Catholic couple to save the baby by adopting him as their own during the Nazi occupation. Until he learned more about his origins, he decided to tell only one person: the then newly elected pope. He wrote to John Paul II that his Jewish origins made him feel a special bond to the successor of Peter, a Jewish apostle. The pope's warm reply began with the words "Beloved Brother."The pope's rejection of totalitarian ideologies and anything that smacks of racism or persecution doesn't mean he uncritically embraced liberal democracy and capitalism. At the same mass in Krakow that attracted nearly 3 million of the faithful, he reiterated his frequent message about the dangers of the "noisy propaganda of liberalism" and "freedom without responsibility," and denounced man's attempts, whether by genetic engineering or euthanasia, to interfere "in the mystery of human life." He could sound like a scold when he talked about the dangers of hedonism and consumerism, of a system that too often treats materialism as an end in itself and forgets spiritual values.Zieba, the Polish priest who wrote "The Popes and Capitalism," points out that the pontiff's view of capitalism was quite different than of totalitarian systems. "Capitalism can produce a very creative culture or a very merciless one," Zieba notes. "It depends on us. It can be exploitative and lose touch with God." The pope believed that what determines the type of capitalism that emerges isn't structural, it's the human component-how people are educated. If the "human ecology" of capitalism is polluted then you get a corrupted system, Zieba adds; the way to clean up the pollution is to impart the right values. The pope praised the freedoms capitalism can provide-the encouragement of entrepreneurs, allowing people to develop their talents to the fullest. But he opposed any "ideology" of capitalism that excuses its worst excesses. In light of the recent wave of corporate scandals, it's too bad this part of his message often failed to register.As inspiring and visionary as this pope often was, there was always an undercurrent of discontent with some aspects of his reign. When I covered the Vatican in the early 1980s, some of the curia-the cabinet that assists the pope in governing the church-complained about his preoccupation with Poland and the number of Poles in his entourage. Those complaints faded later, especially once the political outcome in his homeland won universal applause. But a more persistent and significant criticism is that John Paul II didn't do more to curb the power of the curia. "We are suffering from overcentralization," a senior member of the curia admitted to me in 1982. "This clerical life of Rome remains a bit of a royal court, with some of the mentality of Louis XIV." At the time, this could be ascribed to a holdover culture from previous popes, but today internal critics claim that centralization increased rather than decreased under John Paul II's rule.Not long ago, when I asked a Polish cleric who has worked in the Vatican about the negative side of the ledger when it comes to this pope's record, he mentioned the "fear of innovation" in much of the church, due in part to the appointment of weak bishops. He also pointed out that the synods of bishops, which should counterbalance the power of the curia, "are not what they should be." They are only consultants, and they haven't been able to develop the new ideas that are needed in this time when the church's traditional base-Europe and the United States-is suffering from a growing shortage of priests (with Poland a very big exception). While the pope did a remarkable job of reaching out to the Third World, the crisis in vocations is only one manifestation of the broader problems facing the church in the countries where its influence is visibly declining.It would seem only natural, for instance, that the synod would discuss making celibacy optional for priests, something that exists in the Eastern or Ukrainian Rite Catholic Church. But the pope's adamant opposition meant that no such discussion took place. Nor has the synod discussed the awkward situation the church found itself in with married men who were secretly ordained as priests in Czechoslovakia during the communist era. While they were formally ordained as Eastern Rite Catholic priests, those distinctions hardly seemed important at a time when the church was persecuted by the communist authorities. The practice in the underground, anticommunist church was to allow married priests to help keep the faith alive, and they regularly said Roman Catholic masses and administered the sacraments. The fact that they were married helped disguise their clerical status.In 1999, I went to the Czech Republic to see what had happened to those married priests after the downfall of communism. Initially, they were told that they no longer could say mass. They felt bitter that the Vatican seemed to have turned on them. "It was a time when priests who had collaborated with the secret police were given the green light, and we were given the red light," Vaclav Ventura, a married priest, told me. Eventually, church leaders came up with a compromise and established an Eastern Rite diocese in the Czech Republic, which admitted several of the married priests. But most of their parishioners are Roman Catholics, who had become used to them saying mass. The married priests now can only say Roman Catholic mass in the company of a celibate Roman Catholic priest. This is despite the fact most of the new "Eastern Rite" priests were brought up as Roman Catholics, and that they could help plug the holes created by the shortage of priests in the Czech Republic.While these contortions may be understandable, they reflect an unwillingness of the church to confront the issue of celibacy directly. Similarly, the pope ruled out any discussion of the ordination of women. According to clerics who knew the pope well, he believed that Christ's decision to be surrounded by male apostles needs to be respected. As for celibacy, he was strongly convinced that this allows priests to devote themselves fully to the church and to experience a deeper kind of love than erotic love. He was also against anything that smacks of loosening the requirements for the priesthood, arguing that this would be both wrong and ineffective. His supporters note that Protestant churches which now ordain women have hardly enjoyed a surge in vocations.Regardless of the merits of the idea of changing any rules, the church should be capable of airing the issues that are already being discussed informally-and are very much on the minds of many of the faithful. A recent survey of American priests, taken for the National Federation of Priests' Council, revealed that 56 percent believe celibacy should be a matter of personal choice. One cleric who knew the pope well says the pontiff was "physically pained" by the crisis in the American church triggered by the wave of revelations about sexual abuse. But that never softened his opposition to discussing either celibacy or the ordination of women.An even more telling omission may be the lack of serious discussion of the church's position on birth control, especially in the era of the AIDS epidemic. It's virtually impossible to imagine a change in the church's opposition to abortion, euthanasia and genetic engineering. But, as the Polish cleric with long Vatican experience pointed out to me recently, the pope stopped routinely mentioning birth control as part of that litany of dangers during his last years. He used to do so regularly. What accounted for this omission? The Polish cleric offers what he calls merely a guess: that, while the pope almost certainly never changed his views, he may have been confronted with arguments that made him hesitant on the subject. Which brings up one of the final ironies about John Paul II. As he reached the end of his remarkable papacy, this leader who urged everyone to speak the truth, who spoke out again and again on the most sensitive subjects, is now often seen as the defender of the status quo who would prefer silence to open debate on the issues that most often divide and trouble the faithful. As great as his legacy is, it's unfortunate that this, too, is to be a part of it.Nagorski's piece is adapted from a story appearing originally in Notre Dame Magazine's Winter 2002-2003 issue © 2004 Newsweek, Inc.© 2005 MSNBC.comURL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3760688/site/newsweek/[This message contained attachments]
By Andrew Nagorski Newsweek April 2 -
In the summer of 1981 when I was posted in Moscow for NEWSWEEK, Solidarity was riding the crest of a euphoric wave in neighboring Poland. The free trade union had been operating openly for a full year, and the country was flooded with the dissident labor union's banners, pins, stickers and other mementos, including those that celebrated the pride of Poland, Pope John Paul II.The communist authorities would abruptly change course a few months later, declaring martial law and outlawing Solidarity. But those fair days were still a period when seemingly everything was possible, everything was permissible.That summer my wife, Christina, who grew up in Poland, was returning from a visit there with our three children. I drove out to Moscow's Sheremetyevo Airport and waited for them to arrive on a flight that was delayed and didn't land until midnight. I could see that our children, especially 1-year-old Adam, were exhausted as Christina maneuvered them and the luggage through the long customs line. To my relief, the customs officer, a young woman, saw what kind of shape they were in and began waving Christina's suitcases through without inspecting them. She allowed me to take the children and put them into the car. When I returned, Christina was all set to go, but at the last minute the customs officer asked her to open her purse. When Christina did so, the woman's face suddenly colored as she plucked out a key chain with a picture of Pope John Paul II and Solidarity leader Lech Walesa. "Oh, no, this won't pass," she sputtered. "Bring back everything." For the next three hours as the children slept in the car, she methodically searched every piece of luggage. And she refused to return the key chain.A year later, I was expelled by the Soviet authorities from Moscow because of their unhappiness over some of my reporting, and I was assigned to Rome, where I began covering the pope, regularly traveling with him on his many foreign trips. But for me, what happened that night at Moscow's airport remains as one of the most revealing incidents that I witnessed, a minor moment that said so much about the power of John Paul II. It demonstrated the fear that the Polish pope inspired in the Soviet Union, even at a time when the old guard still appeared firmly in command-and almost no one could envisage the collapse of communism that would begin in Poland by the end of the decade and quickly bring the entire system crashing down with it.But looking at events from their perspective, the Soviet authorities were absolutely right to fear that key chain featuring John Paul and Lech Walesa. Any assessment of this pope's place in the history of the church and of the last century will note that he helped trigger the incredible sequence of events that would bring about the implosion of the Soviet empire and its totalitarian system. With John Paul now gone, the summing up of his pontificate is already underway, his accomplishments and shortcomings are being hotly debated. Let me be blunt about my own preliminary judgment. I'm convinced John Paul II will go down in history as one of the greatest popes ever, one whose intense spirituality, intellectual brilliance and sheer physical stamina are beyond dispute. I'm also convinced that he has left some extremely difficult issues to his successor-issues he never confronted and wasn't willing to open up for serious discussion.It's hard to overstate John Paul's impact, reach and visibility. Consider the fact that his constant travels, which took him to more than 100 countries, meant that he logged the equivalent of three times the distance between the earth and the moon. Those of us who accompanied him, riding in what would be the economy class of the chartered papal plane, often felt as if we were part of an endless marathon, and our biggest challenge was just to keep up. On long stretches in the air, we couldn't tune out completely since we had to be prepared with the right question in case the pope made one of his walkabouts through our section. John Paul, who spoke an amazing array of languages with varying degrees of proficiency, had the daunting habit of answering questions in whatever language the questioner used.There were also the slightly surrealistic moments, particularly when local carriers were used as the papal plane instead of Alitalia, which usually provided this service. Richard Roth of CBS recalls a ride on an Air Gabon charter where the pilot announced: "Your Holiness, Eminences, my Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, the duty-free shop is now open."On a 1983 trip to Central America, we were loaded onto a Honduran airliner for a flight across rugged, mountainous terrain. At one point, the plane started losing altitude. At first, there were a few jokes in the press section about the next day's coverage: POPE DIES IN PLANE CRASH in huge type, with a tiny wire-service item buried deep in the package: DOZENS OF JOURNALISTS ALSO KILLED. But as the flight dropped lower and lower, silence descended on our cabin. We watched the Boeing 737 drop to within a couple of hundred yards over the treetops of a village before pulling up sharply and barely making it over the next mountain range. Later, we learned that the pope had been asked to bless the Honduran president's village as the plane flew over it, and the president had ordered the pilot to drop as low as possible to make that blessing stick.The first non-Italian pope in 455 years, John Paul II broke precedent after precedent, not just in terms of travel. One of the most significant examples was his reaching out to those of other faiths, particularly Jews. He became the first pope in history to visit a synagogue, the first to visit a mosque. Another was his willingness to apologize for the Catholic church's sins-for its treatment of Jews, for the Crusades, for its persecution of Galileo. American Catholics may have wanted something even stronger, but his speech to the American cardinals visiting Rome in April 2002, about the sexual scandals was incredibly blunt by Vatican standards.If his image is sometimes larger than life, he was also resolutely human. As a young pope, he continued to ski, swim and hike, which his predecessors would never have thought of doing. And even when he was old and ailing, he maintained his self-deprecating sense of humor. After his trip to Poland in August 2002, when he attracted a crowd of nearly 3 million for a mass on Krakow's Blonie meadow, he invited Maciej Zieba, the head of the Dominican order in Poland, for lunch with him at the Vatican. Zieba congratulated the pope on the "great event" in Krakow. "I remember a bigger event," the pope responded. He then told Zieba about a school outing in 1933 to the same site. The occasion was a military parade where Marshall Jozef Pilsudski, the prewar Polish leader, reviewed the troops. "That was a great event," the pope concluded. As Zieba puts it, "He still had a sense of irony."And there were plenty of ironies in Karol Wojtyla's career. Perhaps the greatest one was how the communist authorities in Poland misread him early on. Since he talked about faith and culture, not about what passed for politics, they believed he could be easily manipulated. As George Weigel points out in his excellent biography "Witness to Hope," party ideologist Zenon Kliszko vetoed seven candidates the church put forward to be bishops in the early 1960s; at that time the government had the power to block nominations. "I'm waiting for Wojtyla," Kliszko said, "and I'll continue to veto names until I get him." He got him soon enough, when Wojtyla was named archbishop of Krakow in 1964. The communists soon regretted their decision, but it was too late.The pope's commitment to faith and culture proved profoundly subversive. When I was reporting on the fate of religion in Eastern and Central Europe, I became aware of the scope of his encouragement for the faithful in places like the Ukraine and Czechoslovakia, where persecution was the norm. It wasn't just his public prayers for the "hidden churches" or his appointments of new bishops for these churches, even if they had to remain in exile. I talked with one of the Polish priests, dressed in civilian clothes, who traveled to parts of the Soviet Union to hold secret masses. As late as 1989, I went to a secret mass in the western Ukrainian city of Lvov that was attended by dissidents who had spent as many as 18 years in the gulag.If the pope was willing to promote clandestine activities when necessary, his greatest contribution to the downfall of communism wasn't covert at all. In public pronouncements on his visits to Poland and at every possible opportunity, he bore a simple message: faith matters, the truth matters, freedom matters, injustice must be condemned. His audiences knew what truths and what injustices without his having to spell them out, without his taking any overtly political stands. He encouraged such dissidents as Poland's Walesa and Czechoslovakia's Vaclav Havel to live "as if" they were free, undermining the elaborate system of lies that the communist system depended upon to survive. Once the pretenses were stripped away, more and more people realized they weren't alone with their dissident thoughts and began to act upon them. In talking about Europe's common spiritual genealogy, the pope was, in his own way, signaling that the Iron Curtain had to come down.Those convictions flowed directly from his Polish upbringing and his encounters with both of the 20th century's brutal totalitarian systems-Hitler's and Stalin's. His rejection of any system that crushed the individual, that degraded people into objects, was instinctive. So was his rejection of anti-Semitism, which he occasionally witnessed growing up in Poland. His effort to reach out to Jews and others of different faiths can be traced to the same roots.While the most dramatic public manifestations could be seen when he visited Jerusalem's Wailing Wall, I was struck by a smaller, private gesture. A few years ago, I spent a long afternoon interviewing a Polish priest who had discovered, only at age 35 when his "mother" told him the truth, that he was a Jew by birth. His natural parents had pleaded with a Polish Catholic couple to save the baby by adopting him as their own during the Nazi occupation. Until he learned more about his origins, he decided to tell only one person: the then newly elected pope. He wrote to John Paul II that his Jewish origins made him feel a special bond to the successor of Peter, a Jewish apostle. The pope's warm reply began with the words "Beloved Brother."The pope's rejection of totalitarian ideologies and anything that smacks of racism or persecution doesn't mean he uncritically embraced liberal democracy and capitalism. At the same mass in Krakow that attracted nearly 3 million of the faithful, he reiterated his frequent message about the dangers of the "noisy propaganda of liberalism" and "freedom without responsibility," and denounced man's attempts, whether by genetic engineering or euthanasia, to interfere "in the mystery of human life." He could sound like a scold when he talked about the dangers of hedonism and consumerism, of a system that too often treats materialism as an end in itself and forgets spiritual values.Zieba, the Polish priest who wrote "The Popes and Capitalism," points out that the pontiff's view of capitalism was quite different than of totalitarian systems. "Capitalism can produce a very creative culture or a very merciless one," Zieba notes. "It depends on us. It can be exploitative and lose touch with God." The pope believed that what determines the type of capitalism that emerges isn't structural, it's the human component-how people are educated. If the "human ecology" of capitalism is polluted then you get a corrupted system, Zieba adds; the way to clean up the pollution is to impart the right values. The pope praised the freedoms capitalism can provide-the encouragement of entrepreneurs, allowing people to develop their talents to the fullest. But he opposed any "ideology" of capitalism that excuses its worst excesses. In light of the recent wave of corporate scandals, it's too bad this part of his message often failed to register.As inspiring and visionary as this pope often was, there was always an undercurrent of discontent with some aspects of his reign. When I covered the Vatican in the early 1980s, some of the curia-the cabinet that assists the pope in governing the church-complained about his preoccupation with Poland and the number of Poles in his entourage. Those complaints faded later, especially once the political outcome in his homeland won universal applause. But a more persistent and significant criticism is that John Paul II didn't do more to curb the power of the curia. "We are suffering from overcentralization," a senior member of the curia admitted to me in 1982. "This clerical life of Rome remains a bit of a royal court, with some of the mentality of Louis XIV." At the time, this could be ascribed to a holdover culture from previous popes, but today internal critics claim that centralization increased rather than decreased under John Paul II's rule.Not long ago, when I asked a Polish cleric who has worked in the Vatican about the negative side of the ledger when it comes to this pope's record, he mentioned the "fear of innovation" in much of the church, due in part to the appointment of weak bishops. He also pointed out that the synods of bishops, which should counterbalance the power of the curia, "are not what they should be." They are only consultants, and they haven't been able to develop the new ideas that are needed in this time when the church's traditional base-Europe and the United States-is suffering from a growing shortage of priests (with Poland a very big exception). While the pope did a remarkable job of reaching out to the Third World, the crisis in vocations is only one manifestation of the broader problems facing the church in the countries where its influence is visibly declining.It would seem only natural, for instance, that the synod would discuss making celibacy optional for priests, something that exists in the Eastern or Ukrainian Rite Catholic Church. But the pope's adamant opposition meant that no such discussion took place. Nor has the synod discussed the awkward situation the church found itself in with married men who were secretly ordained as priests in Czechoslovakia during the communist era. While they were formally ordained as Eastern Rite Catholic priests, those distinctions hardly seemed important at a time when the church was persecuted by the communist authorities. The practice in the underground, anticommunist church was to allow married priests to help keep the faith alive, and they regularly said Roman Catholic masses and administered the sacraments. The fact that they were married helped disguise their clerical status.In 1999, I went to the Czech Republic to see what had happened to those married priests after the downfall of communism. Initially, they were told that they no longer could say mass. They felt bitter that the Vatican seemed to have turned on them. "It was a time when priests who had collaborated with the secret police were given the green light, and we were given the red light," Vaclav Ventura, a married priest, told me. Eventually, church leaders came up with a compromise and established an Eastern Rite diocese in the Czech Republic, which admitted several of the married priests. But most of their parishioners are Roman Catholics, who had become used to them saying mass. The married priests now can only say Roman Catholic mass in the company of a celibate Roman Catholic priest. This is despite the fact most of the new "Eastern Rite" priests were brought up as Roman Catholics, and that they could help plug the holes created by the shortage of priests in the Czech Republic.While these contortions may be understandable, they reflect an unwillingness of the church to confront the issue of celibacy directly. Similarly, the pope ruled out any discussion of the ordination of women. According to clerics who knew the pope well, he believed that Christ's decision to be surrounded by male apostles needs to be respected. As for celibacy, he was strongly convinced that this allows priests to devote themselves fully to the church and to experience a deeper kind of love than erotic love. He was also against anything that smacks of loosening the requirements for the priesthood, arguing that this would be both wrong and ineffective. His supporters note that Protestant churches which now ordain women have hardly enjoyed a surge in vocations.Regardless of the merits of the idea of changing any rules, the church should be capable of airing the issues that are already being discussed informally-and are very much on the minds of many of the faithful. A recent survey of American priests, taken for the National Federation of Priests' Council, revealed that 56 percent believe celibacy should be a matter of personal choice. One cleric who knew the pope well says the pontiff was "physically pained" by the crisis in the American church triggered by the wave of revelations about sexual abuse. But that never softened his opposition to discussing either celibacy or the ordination of women.An even more telling omission may be the lack of serious discussion of the church's position on birth control, especially in the era of the AIDS epidemic. It's virtually impossible to imagine a change in the church's opposition to abortion, euthanasia and genetic engineering. But, as the Polish cleric with long Vatican experience pointed out to me recently, the pope stopped routinely mentioning birth control as part of that litany of dangers during his last years. He used to do so regularly. What accounted for this omission? The Polish cleric offers what he calls merely a guess: that, while the pope almost certainly never changed his views, he may have been confronted with arguments that made him hesitant on the subject. Which brings up one of the final ironies about John Paul II. As he reached the end of his remarkable papacy, this leader who urged everyone to speak the truth, who spoke out again and again on the most sensitive subjects, is now often seen as the defender of the status quo who would prefer silence to open debate on the issues that most often divide and trouble the faithful. As great as his legacy is, it's unfortunate that this, too, is to be a part of it.Nagorski's piece is adapted from a story appearing originally in Notre Dame Magazine's Winter 2002-2003 issue © 2004 Newsweek, Inc.© 2005 MSNBC.comURL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3760688/site/newsweek/[This message contained attachments]
article bout the pope
Touching America
He was both a critic and an inspiration. How John Paul II divided our nation with his bold stances.By Melinda HennebergerContributing EditorNewsweekApril 11 issue -
For all of his grandfatherly warmth, Pope John Paul II was a dependably harsh critic of American culture. He disapproved of our consumerism. He opposed our wars. And though fiercely anti-communist, he argued for the kind of structural economic change his staunchest friends in the United States would have called socialism. On the first of his four papal trips here, in the fall of 1979, John Paul bluntly compared Americans to the rich man in the Bible story who is damned for all eternity after a life spent feasting-contentedly oblivious to Lazarus, the beggar who longed for the scraps from his table. "It is not right," the pope preached in English at a mass in Yankee Stadium, "that the standard of living of the rich countries should seek to maintain itself by draining off a great part of the reserves of energy and raw materials that are meant for the whole of humanity."The Rev. Thomas Reese, a Jesuit and editor of the Roman Catholic magazine America, says he will never forget that moment. "He looks out and says, 'You are the rich man and Lazarus is at your gate, and it's the Third World.' That's scary! But we applauded, went home and went back to life as usual." It was the pope's pronouncements on sexual issues-from birth control to homosexuality-that got all the media attention, of course. Yet John Paul never stopped decrying our "excesses of capitalism." Last summer, after the pope lectured American bishops that their people were "hypnotized by materialism, teetering before a soulless vision of the world," the Catholic writer Eugene Kennedy responded: "Pope John Paul II might as well be French for the studied distaste he expresses about America."Most of us took no offense. As Cardinal Theodore McCarrick of Washington put it, the reaction of many American Catholics has been, "I'm not sure I agree with him. But, oh, I love the Holy Father." And though his word was far from universally heeded, John Paul had a significant spiritual and intellectual influence on his American flock.A former philosophy professor and prolific writer, John Paul reinvigorated Catholic intellectual life in America and, in the series of discourses known as the Theology of the Body, authored what might well be the most idealized paean to sex in marriage since the Song of Solomon. At a time when church teaching had been reduced to the level of a JESUS IS LOVE bumper sticker, he reintroduced at least the ideal of a certain rigor in religious education. At the same time, he set off a panic in Catholic universities here by forcing a handful of theologians out of their teaching jobs after deeming them insufficiently orthodox.John Paul leaves his church in the United States in middling shape; while the number of Catholics here continues to grow, mainly due to immigration, the number of priests continues to fall. Seminary enrollment took yet another hit after the sex-abuse scandals of 2002. Only a third of American Catholics now attend mass in any given week, compared with twice that a generation ago.John Paul's most striking legacy in this country, however, is his influence on younger priests and lay Catholics. "We have what I would call 'John Paul II students' now," says University of Notre Dame theology professor Lawrence Cunningham. "We have a significant minority of students interested in his Theology of the Body and in retrieving devotions like the adoration of the Blessed Sacrament that we haven't seen since before Vatican II."That he was on the side of both the condemned and the unborn never ceased to puzzle those intent on placing him somewhere-but where?-on the usual left-right continuum. Some saw his influence in the erosion of public support for the death penalty here. Others assumed he was the Bush-Cheney team's man in Rome. John Paul's influence on American political life was almost surely overestimated.But his spiritual influence will endure. When the pope's admirers speak of him, they often cite St. Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians: "If the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle?" With John Paul, the sound was never uncertain. And the battles he prepared us for certainly do not end with him. © 2005 Newsweek, Inc.© 2005 MSNBC.comURL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7369922/site/newsweek/
He was both a critic and an inspiration. How John Paul II divided our nation with his bold stances.By Melinda HennebergerContributing EditorNewsweekApril 11 issue -
For all of his grandfatherly warmth, Pope John Paul II was a dependably harsh critic of American culture. He disapproved of our consumerism. He opposed our wars. And though fiercely anti-communist, he argued for the kind of structural economic change his staunchest friends in the United States would have called socialism. On the first of his four papal trips here, in the fall of 1979, John Paul bluntly compared Americans to the rich man in the Bible story who is damned for all eternity after a life spent feasting-contentedly oblivious to Lazarus, the beggar who longed for the scraps from his table. "It is not right," the pope preached in English at a mass in Yankee Stadium, "that the standard of living of the rich countries should seek to maintain itself by draining off a great part of the reserves of energy and raw materials that are meant for the whole of humanity."The Rev. Thomas Reese, a Jesuit and editor of the Roman Catholic magazine America, says he will never forget that moment. "He looks out and says, 'You are the rich man and Lazarus is at your gate, and it's the Third World.' That's scary! But we applauded, went home and went back to life as usual." It was the pope's pronouncements on sexual issues-from birth control to homosexuality-that got all the media attention, of course. Yet John Paul never stopped decrying our "excesses of capitalism." Last summer, after the pope lectured American bishops that their people were "hypnotized by materialism, teetering before a soulless vision of the world," the Catholic writer Eugene Kennedy responded: "Pope John Paul II might as well be French for the studied distaste he expresses about America."Most of us took no offense. As Cardinal Theodore McCarrick of Washington put it, the reaction of many American Catholics has been, "I'm not sure I agree with him. But, oh, I love the Holy Father." And though his word was far from universally heeded, John Paul had a significant spiritual and intellectual influence on his American flock.A former philosophy professor and prolific writer, John Paul reinvigorated Catholic intellectual life in America and, in the series of discourses known as the Theology of the Body, authored what might well be the most idealized paean to sex in marriage since the Song of Solomon. At a time when church teaching had been reduced to the level of a JESUS IS LOVE bumper sticker, he reintroduced at least the ideal of a certain rigor in religious education. At the same time, he set off a panic in Catholic universities here by forcing a handful of theologians out of their teaching jobs after deeming them insufficiently orthodox.John Paul leaves his church in the United States in middling shape; while the number of Catholics here continues to grow, mainly due to immigration, the number of priests continues to fall. Seminary enrollment took yet another hit after the sex-abuse scandals of 2002. Only a third of American Catholics now attend mass in any given week, compared with twice that a generation ago.John Paul's most striking legacy in this country, however, is his influence on younger priests and lay Catholics. "We have what I would call 'John Paul II students' now," says University of Notre Dame theology professor Lawrence Cunningham. "We have a significant minority of students interested in his Theology of the Body and in retrieving devotions like the adoration of the Blessed Sacrament that we haven't seen since before Vatican II."That he was on the side of both the condemned and the unborn never ceased to puzzle those intent on placing him somewhere-but where?-on the usual left-right continuum. Some saw his influence in the erosion of public support for the death penalty here. Others assumed he was the Bush-Cheney team's man in Rome. John Paul's influence on American political life was almost surely overestimated.But his spiritual influence will endure. When the pope's admirers speak of him, they often cite St. Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians: "If the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle?" With John Paul, the sound was never uncertain. And the battles he prepared us for certainly do not end with him. © 2005 Newsweek, Inc.© 2005 MSNBC.comURL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7369922/site/newsweek/
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