giving my first injection

today i gave my first injection(well, i had praticed on plastic arms before in my preclinical years but that doesnt count). it was a tetanus toxiod intramuscular injection on this malay woman who was pregnant. it all begin harmlessly. the malay lady was waiting all alone in the immunization room. so i went to informed the staff nurse. to my suprise she asked me, "lu mau inject?" and i said yes. of course i said yes. been dying to jab somebody for a long time. so she showed me the way to fill up the syringe and how to discard the excess vaccine. then it was time for the real thing.
man was i ready for it. or so i thought. there was a look of apprehension on the woman's face. so i put on a more than confidence appearance-like i have been injecting ppl since i was suckling. i swabbed her arm over the deltoid with a cotton drenched in alcohol. then i inserted the needle into her arm(later the nurse told me my method of administering the needle into the patient was very 'mengerikan, macam nak ambil roket tembak orang') . once the needle was in place, i had to aspirate a little to make sure i did not hit a vessel. it was in this period that i began to lose my confidence. the needle was a little flimsy because of the soft adipose tissues(fats) in the hand. i had to hold it firmly during the aspiration so that the needle does not come out of the hand. but at the same time i was afraid if i held to tightly, the needle might break if there was a sudden movement by the pts. as i was doing this, iwas carrying another cotton in my palm that is meant to cover the wound once i removed the neddle. caught in this purgatory of self doubt, my hand began to shake and i dropped the cotton. at that time i couldnt give a shit. once i confirmed that the needle was indeed in the muscle, i emptied the syringe and removed the needle. then it was, 'where the fuck is the cotton?!?!' and the lady's hand began to bleed cause there was nothing to compress it. and staff nurse was, 'mana cotton?? mana cotton?? cepat ambil cotton!!" with one hand compressing the wound, i used the hand to indicate where the new cottons are to my friend who thinks its a bloody joke. buggar still cant find the cottong despite me poiting to the area. after what felt like eternity the cotton did come and the bleeding stopped. and my heart started beating again.