this occurred while i was on a holiday....

had a 25y old guy coming to the clinic breathless and barely able to speak. from his sign language, my MA (medical assistant) figured that he trying to tell him that he was chocking on something.

when he opened his mouth, the MA saw a fish's tail sticking out from his throat and still flapping. the fish's head was all the way in the throat.

the patient was immediately send to Sibu via speed boat then by ambulance. upon arrival, he underwent an emergency surgery of the neck to remove the "foreign body."

apparently this guy has a habit during fishing, where he will keep the fish he caught in between his lips....alive. well guess this fish didn't like that very much and tried killing him by diving into his throat and spread open its fins which contains multiple small hooks/pins like structure.

heard the guy got discharged from the hospital yesterday.

lucky fool....

a 50+ year old lady came to see me in the clinic (conversation was actually in hokkien which was more hilarious)

lady: lokun (doctor) ah, i want some sleeping pills.

me: sleeping pills are controlled medication. i cant just simply give it out. why do you need it for?

lady: every night cannot sleep leh...

me: why? is there some personal matter or problem bothering you?

lady: aiyah, something like that.

me: what is it about?

lady: no need to talk bout it la. very pai seh (shy).

me: if you dont tell me i cant h help you. are you feeling depressed?

lady: cheh, no no no. its not like tat.

me: then what is the problem?

lady: its my husband la. he every night ohh, sure will disturb me. and i cant sleep because of that.

me: husband disturbing you?? what seems to be the problem?

lady: he wants to have sex lor. every night also want to do. but i dont want to. i lau (old) already la. la bin boh tam liow (all dry already inside). hair down there also dont have already.

me: so you want the sleeping pills so that you can sleep even though he "disturbs" you??

lady: oh no. the pills are for him.

me: nabe...(the hokkien in me had to come out). does he want to take it?

lady: i dont know. most probably not. but dont care la...

me: but what if he doesnt want to take it?

lady: aiyah doctor you just tell him its a new hypertension medication for his stroke la. kau tim la like tat.

*hope my sex and marriage life dont end up like that. i still want to do it when i'm 80.

to free with nothing to do. so decided to read my old blog postings from 2005. comparing myself then and now i realised that i still believe in the same principles till today. im still passionate bout certain issues close to my heart.

the difference is that, i used to see the world in a much lighter light. i could make every darn embarrassing or difficult situation into a joke. and i wrote with much more humour and a sense of keenness. i laughed my head off at reading what i wrote 5 years ago and how i perceive certain events.

what i write now aint that funny anymore. most are depressing actually.

i guess somewhere along the way i lost that inner person that resides within me. have to stop taking life to seriously.

gotta to believe in my motto again, "life is full of shit. you just gotta to learn how to see the joke behind each one."

Why im dying from stress in the clinic Part II

68y lady with hypertension and dm comes to my clinic. her BP and fasting blood sugar was not within control level. she was on tablet amlodipine10mg OD and s/c humulin 30/70 28units in the morning and 12units in the evening.

me: ibu, bisik makai (makan) ubat tiap tiap hari ka? darah semua nadai bagus.

pts: bisikkkk (yes)

me: ubat makai tu makai berapa kali?

pts: segek sekali makai

me: berapa bijik?

pts: (chopping motion of the hand to indicate half which is only 5 mg)

me: salah tu la ibu....ubat cucuk tu berapa kali guna satu hari?

pts: cucuk pagi & lemai (evening).....pagi 20, lemai 4

me: salah la ibu. Pagi mesti cucuk 28, lemai cucuk 12. faham tak ibu?

pts: faham

me: bagus. nanti balik berapa banyak kena cucuk?

pts: pagi 20, lemai 4

me: salah salah. pagi 28 lemai 12. faham?

pts: faham

me: ah cakap nanti balik kena cucuk berapa?

pts: pagi 20, lemai 4

me: pagi 28, lemai 12 la ibu. ibu you faham ka tidak apa saya cakap sama you?

pts: faham.

me: betul ke you faham?

pts: faham.

me: pulai nanti cucuk macam mana?

pts: pagi 20, lemai 4

me: ibu, dengar sini. bila pulai nanti, lemai cucuk 12. faham?

pts: faham. lemai cucuk 12.

me: ah bagus. esok hari bila bangun, pagi cucuk 28. faham?

pts: cucuk 28?

me: ya ya 28 betul. so nanti pulai berapa banyak kena cucuk??

pts: pagi 4, lemai 20

me: eh terbalik la itu sekarang.you faham ka apa saya cakap

pts: faham

me: betul ka you faham?

pts: faham

me: ah ok ok....you sekarang cakap apa you faham?

pts: faham

me: faham apa?????

pts: faham

me; tak ibu, you faham apa???

pts: (scratching her head) anak, ibu nadai pandai cakop melayu (my child, im not good at speaking malay).

me: aisay man....you jawab "faham" buat apa?

pts: faham.

*pulling my hair*

called in nurse to explained to her in iban.

pts: (speaking in iban)oh pagi 28, lemai 12. tak boleh tukar tukar ka?

me: mana boleh main tukar tukar. ibu ingat in pilihan raya ka? nanti luput (pengsan) kita.

pts: oh...

me: ubat makai itu pun salah ah. kena makai segek (one) biji tiap tiap hari. bukan separuh oh.

pts: oh makai segek. bukan bisik makai... (chopping motion of the hand to indicate half)?

me: bukan bukan. makai satu biji. faham?

pts: faham anak. terima kasih anak.

me: tak apa. so nanti pulang berapa banyak kena cucuk?

pts: pagi 20, lemai 4

*hits head against the table*