between the age of 7 and 18, the day i hated the most every year was report card day. i was never a good student. worst still, i was never one who did my homework. so one week before report card day i would be shitting bricks already. and when that day eventually comes, my mom will stop her car at her favorite sundry shop and get the fattest thickest rotan she can find. once we reach the house, the catching game starts. she will be chasing me with the rotan on her left hand and the report card on the right hand. i will be shouting for my grandma and my dog. once i locked myself in my dad;s old volvo240 and got stuck in it for 30mins. thank god my grandma heard me banging on the trunk.

anyway, 2 weeks back the roles were reversed. mom was to busy with work in the shop so she send me to go collect my 12 year old brother;s report card. it was a walk down memory lane. my old primary school certainly hadnt changed much. the walls was in need of a new coat of paint. i had to wait in line with a bunch of uncles and aunties... ok ok...fathers and mothers. all of them were busy discussing bout their sons. i really felt out of place. suddenly this woman turned aroung and asked me, "which is your son??"

MY SON!!! cau cibai!!! never felt so insulted before. im just 23 years old. do i look like your husband's age?!?!?

fuck...its must be my tummy la. it was then that i decided that im gonna blow my first pay cheque on liposuction and a tummy tuck.

thru my hemorrhaging ego i told her that im here for my younger brother. and then she went 'ohhh' and embarrassment was written all over her face. she got over her embarrassment pretty fast cause a few minutes later she was complaining to me bout her son being lazy and and not studying hard. damm woman....do i look like i give a shit!!! and she kept on going and going going until it was my turn to go in. thank god.

it was good to see my old teacher. he was suprised when i told him i was his ex student. after telling him wat year i left standard 6 he went, 'oh yes yes..... kenny, james, madhu, adrian, andrew, kevin,darren, marvin, kenneth, gilbert, seet, lee, hafiz were all your classmates right!?!''

i went,"ah correct correct!! wah sir still can remember after so long ah,"

"sure can la. you all my student wat!!! anyway, whats your name ah??"

he remembers half the class but he couldnt find space for me in his memory. how touching.

after listening to him bout my brother;s academic performance in school, i thank him and left the class. on my way out, i stop in front of the lady who thought i was a father and said to her, "ok im going now. it was nice meeting you AUNTIE!"

when she heard that, she looked like she just got slapped.

revenge is sweet....