revenge is sweet as petai

last night i met up with two old friends of mine, cheecak and bamboomouth. its been more than a year since i last saw bamboo mouth and it was good to catch up with him. we might be 24 this year but he's still the same when i first knew him when we were 13.

apparently bamboo mouth had some long standing major argument with his housemate over their aparment's parking lot and plus to that, the housemate(HM) was bitching to the landowner bout him and also refuses to wash the toilet that they both share. basically from his story, HM is a real prick. and it didnt help that the HM had serious case of BO to which he is oblivious to. cheecak who stayed for a few days, personally related his own experience. he was walking past the HM's room whose door was not closed. the stench was so bad that it makes the the ocassional accidental pee and shit on your underwear smells like perfume.

anyway, after one particular fiery argument between bamboo mouth and the HM, bamboo mouth said he had enough of the shit that he has been getting. so during lunch break, he went to his favourite shop and odered a large plate of sambal petai with EXTRA petai. drank a large amount of water and returned to work. he tahan for 3 hours not going to the toilet. after work, he rushed home and went straight to the toilet. there was a pail of water and dynamo detergent with HM's soaked clothes. he opened his zip and started peeing into it. "lakhanat sampai berbuih-buih gua kencing. habis bau petai keluar. sedap betul."

after that he took a dump in the toilet bowl and he went to the kitchen, took the spoon which HM uses to eat, and went back into the toilet. there he scooped his feces out and threw it into the pail of clothes with urine. "lepas itu gua kacau-kacau itu tahi sama sudu sampai semua tahi kat dalam desolved. haaa... then put the spoon back in the kitchen. never wash you know."

now i seriously think that HM is suffering from a serious case of anosmia cause even with the petai concentrated urine and feces water which his clothers were soaked in, he still took the clothes to the balcony(without rewashing it) for drying. imagine what will happen when he wears it to work. imagine if you are sitting beside him at work. oh gooddd.........

to top it all, bamboo mouth went for a jog the next day. when he came back he saw HM's handkerchief being dried in the balcony. he took the handkerchief, stuffed into his pants and wiped his sweat drenched pubic hairs and balls."gua kasi sapu kau kau. and then gua punya buntut ada gatal sikit. ahh... kasi garuk garuk sikit.ahhhh.....sedap." and he hanged it back like normal.

bamboo mouth, if i ever ever pissed you off, please tell me ok!! whatever the problem, its my fault.

ps/HM continues using the spoon for his meals.

psychiatry

currently im having psychiatry posting. contrary to what had been told to me by others, its been a rather interesting posting. on the first day, we had to interview this 21 year old malay girl with mania. if they hadnt told me she was mentally ill, i wouldnt have known it. anyway, she has this delusion where she claims that she is waiting for this 'raja putera' to come marry her. thats why at night she has problem sleeping. previously she had two epsisodes of insomnia at age 16 and 17. the reason then was because she was preoccupied with the desire to rape someone. she appears to be very religious but yet has many sexual fetishes. being a manic patient, she occasionally looks to the crowd and speak to them as thought she knows them personally.

she looked at my female colleague who was sitting in front and said, "eh, lu kakar ipar saya kan!!? jangan marah sama abang long ya. dia kadang kadang memang kurang ajar tapi dia orang yang baik. eh itu cincin tunang kan? boleh saya tengok??" at at this point i think my colleague freaked out but before you know it the patient was targeting someone else. i had a friend who has a habit of eating chewing gums in class. the lecturer saw him and ticked him off. suddenly the malay girl looked at my friend and said, "engkau yang raba mak aku kan!! ah, padan muka kena marah. ah raba lagi!! raba lagi!!"

during interview sessions we have to ask patients the meaning of some proverbs to evaluate their abstract thinking ability. there was this chinese lady with schizophrenia and it went like tat:

interviewer: auntie, can you please tell me the meaning of katak bawah tempurung??
auntie: katak bawah tempurung.... YOU LA!!

its fun being with this people.......

chinese new year

GONG XI FAT CHOI!!!!

since its the year of the dog, i shall refrain myself from consuming them at machap. but of course if this year turns out to be a crapy one, "somebody gonna get real hurt!!somebody!!"

fishing

went fishing last night.

caught a few mosquitoes, a few sand bugs, 2 cockroaches and a couple making out.

everything but a fish.

if only i had a few sticks of dynamite........

my nose is killing me...

i am in the library and im having a real bad running nose. was reading thru Meniere's disease when i ran out of tissues for my nose. when you have mucus dripping on your notes, you know its time to stop. besides, i dont think the other guys appreciate me blowing my nose every 2 minutes. if mucus have eyes, they would crawl back up the nose when they see how the machas' are starring at me. you know the killer "what the fuck is wrong with you cinapek!!" look.

one more sneeze and it might trigger off a racial riot. if there is a fight and you are chinese, just mother fucking run. especially when fightin indians. we chinese just cant mother fucking fight. we fought with the mongolians and we got whooped. fought with the british and we got burned. fought with the japanese and we got raped. we just can mother fucking fight!!

kung fu? kung fu my yellow fucking arse!! if jet li saw indians walking towards him with their FUBU t-shirts and sarongs, he would run faster than a doped up ben johnson.

so RUUUNNN!!! indians can never run faster than us. cause we got smaller balls and dick. that make us lighter and faster.

yeah yeah they might have a bigger dick, so what!! three quaters of the time they are to drunk to use it anyway.

macha: oorr letchumi.... howr wonderrfull your brrreast arrre!!. hhrrmmm.... buutt they arrre saggin a little no??

letchumi: PANDI NAI!!! get off my mother you drunkard fool!!!


i seriously dont know how this post turn out to be a racial joke. it was suppose to be a about my nose.