any of you guys know where i can get cyanide??

i have classses from monday to saturday. on most sundays, i mutate into a pig (yeah yeah....i know lots you think im a pig from monday to saturday as well) and sleep as though im in a coma. this use to be real easy until lately.

my immediate neighbour on the right adopted a new dog. some pariah la. the bitch (i assume. i mean, dont you agree all females irregardless of species like to grumble or bark . hehehe ), is one hell of a barker. never seems to get tired from barking. she must have some super biological clock in her. without fail, she will start barking from 7.30am till 10.30am. then she takes a breather and continues her yapping at 3.30pm till 5.30pm. and my room window is less than 2meters from where the dog is.

last weekend was a long weekend, 3rd saturday and wesak holidays. saturday morning my sleep was disturbed but i told myself i will control myself. besides, i just read gandhi's biography not to long ago. passive resistance....

on sunday her internal pariah (but very effective) rolex watch reminded her it was time to bark again. patience patience patience............ KANINEH!!!! TIAM LA KANASAI!!! (kanineh=fucking tits, tiam la=shut up, kanasai= piece of shit). that must have turned her on cause she was barking even more frantically and louder. gandhi my arse!! at that moment i felt more more like ivan the terrible. so i got up and went to my balcony to confront my neighbour. and i saw her there. sitting just beside the dog.

MAI LAU KUNIANG!!! sitting there for so long and yet she did nothing bout it. WTF!!!

when she looked up she was a bit suprised. maybe because i was still in my boxers and singlet. wat never see a yellow kuku cau before isit well!?!?

she herself was no Ms Bukit Baru ok. she was just wearing a sarong tied above her sagging tits.

i told her nicely that i was trying to sleep and the dog was disturbing me. she mumbled something in hokkien and went to calm her dog down. the dog magically shut up and i went back to my room to piggy it out again. but before you can finish saying kau bu eh neh(mother dog's tits), she started barking again.....

wat to write

damm....lost for things to write on my blog these days. the coming mid semester exams really stressing me out. so much to read. so little time. dammit!!! surgery, medicine, ong, opthamology, ent and community medicine. dont even know where to start.

guess i've been enjoying life to much since coming back to mlk. was more hardworking in india. paying the price now i guess.

today in the general hospital, met this guy who had a motorcycle accident in dec 2003. he was riding his bike when he was hit by car from behind. he flew foward and crash into a fiber glass advertisment board. the impact was so great that the helmet broke. was rushed to the mlk GH but was immediately transfered to kl gh for cranial surgery. not sure exactly wat surgery was done but part of his skull was removed. now there is a 13 x 5 cm depression on the right side of the skull. due to formation of multiple small blood clot on his right cerebral hemisphere, there is ischemia(lack of oxygen to the tissues due to decrease blood flow) of the affected area leading to lost all function on the left side of his body. according to him, the surgeon said it was not possible to operate it cause he might die in the op. now his wife has to support him and his 10 children by doing odd jobs in the village. things worsen 7 months after the accident when he started developing convulsion. he was admitted this time because he has his 3rd seizure.

sad

life can be real hard sometimes

angina and condoms

most men do not maintain the same consistency of penile erection throughout sex.so its very easy for the condom to slip out from the penis. to avoid this problem, a condom manufacturer in london has produced a new type of condom which contain the drug GTN. the drug will be applied to the tit of the condom. what it does is it helps maintain a constant dilatation of blood vessels in the penis,hence an erection can be maintain.
the thing is, GTN is also the drug of choice of angina (a type of heart problem due to decrease blood flow to the heart.the pain mimics a heart attack). i guess this is good news for all those old horny ah peks out there with a angina. during sex if they kena an angina attack, they just 'derubber' themself and suck on the condom and they will fell better.hope these new comdoms come in flavours as well.

Gone in 30 seconds

today was my first day of surgery posting in the general hospital. my lampah chee (balls) were shivering in fear even one week before the posting. the reason, the HOD is one hot head who will embarass you in front of the patients and staffs without the slightest show of sympathy or empathy. he onced made a guy stand in the middle of the ward and shout out loud 'I AM STUPID' repeatedly, for failing to answer his questions. he even chased a girl out of the ward, thru the corridor and into the elevator and the whole time calling her names of all the animals you would find in the farm, with the prefix 'stupid idiot'. he only stopped when the elevator door closed. and there were other ppl in the elevator.
but they all say he is a real nice guy after teaching hours and the only reason why he does what he does is so that the students will study. of course there are some out there who beg to differ.

personally i couldnt give a shit. i just want to survive his class with my pride and balls intact.

so the whole weekend i was reading thru my anatomy and surgery text books, remembering all the diagrams and facts that my micro brain can absorb.

woke up at 7.30am. class was at 8am. took my own sweet time to get ready. after all the hospital is just 3mins away by bike. but when i went out of the house, i realised that i had left my bike in the college and it was already 7.50am. so i had to walk to the hospital. when i reached the hospital, i kind of got lost finding my way to the surgery ward. i was never posted in the GH before. previously i was posted in the peripheral clinics.

when i finally found the room it was 8.05. i was relief cause when i popped my head in all i saw was my classmates hovering over the table and there was no sign of him. so i took a step in. JUST ONE STEP. and all the hovering heads lifted up, like the waves did when moses crossed the dead sea, and there HE was(not moses of course). his first words to me were:

GEEEEEEETTTTT OUTTTTTT!!!!

kanineh, cant be this suay rite!??! early early morning kena fuck alerady. how to kena 4D?!?!

HE: WHY ARE YOU LATE???

me: sorry sir. i got lost.

HE: GET OUT!!! THATS NOT AN EXCUSE!!! why were you lost??

me: dont know my way around sir

HE: GET OUT!!!! THAT IS NOT AN EXCUSE. HUH!!!! YOU HAD YOUR TOUR OF THE HOSPITAL DURING YOUR ORIENTATION AND YOU SAID YOU GOT LOST!!! GETTT OUTTTTTTTTT........


with that, i now have the distinction of being the record holder among my classmates for being thrown out the fastest in surgery class.

30seconds

thats how long i lasted in my fist surgery posting. the rest of my friends did slightly better. by 8.15, only 3 out of 12 people remained in class.

its going to be a real loonggg posting.

i got up at 7.30 this morning and did all i can to drag my flabby ass out of the bed. oh man, thank god this is my last day to tangkak. been going there for the past two weeks for my medicine posting. when i finished dressing, it rained heavily. i had no car or umbrella. i go to class everyday with trusty yamaha SRE and my brother's helmet which was once size smaller than my helmet (my helmet was stolen in college when i left it in the guard house. can you beat that!!! stolen in the guard house!!). so i was in a 'hmmm....should i bunk or waddle thru the rain' situation. no prizes for the right answer. all i can say is im bloody refreshed now

last week my 16 year old sister got into a motorcycle accident. she got knocked by a car from the side as she was trying to avoid a big puddle of water in front of her. thank god she didnt get hit by oncoming cars. she only had some bad cuts and bruises over her face, arms and legs. the guy who hit her was a chinese man in his 60s. when he got out of his car, instead of coming to her aid, he just stood there by his car and made a call on his handphone. at this time my sis was pretty much in shock and pain. she was crying when she asked him to take her to the general hospital which was less than 5mins drive away. he was hessitant. the reason... because his car was a new honda city and he didnt want to get it dirty with blood. two malay motorist who happened to pass by at the time, stopped and helped carried my sister up and pushed the bike to the side of the road. after much chiding and insult from the malay motorists, only did the man agreed to fetch my sis to the hospital. in the hospital, my sister received prompt and efficient medical care and treatment by the medical officer and hospital staff on duty.
since we couldnt agree on whose fault it was that caused the accident, both party agreed to make a police report so that we can file for an insurance claim.

MESRA, CEKAP DAN BETUL
in the police station, our statement was taken by a lance corporal, whose was real nice and efficient. the report was done in 30mins. he then asked me to look for and pass a document to a Sargeant K, who was suppose to be at his desk but was missing.

MESRA??
i found the sargeant sitting under a tree and talking on his hp. so i asked him nicely and politely if he was Sargeant K to which he replied, "YA YA SAYA TAU APA NAK BUAT!! YOU TAK BOLEH DIRI DAN TUNGGU SANA SEKEJAP KAH!!!" kanineh!! got screwed just because i was trying to pass on a document.

BETUL??
he appeared after 20mins. he then said he had to take the statement all over again. i dont know whether if this is a normal procedure, but dont you feel its a bit redundant to take the report all over again. and before my sister could finish her story he said to her, 'ah kau yang salah, kau yang salah. saya kena saman you rm 300 sekarang.' when he saw that no bribe was forth coming he begin to get real restless with his work. half way thru, he said to my sister, 'ah dah bosan type la. you kasi type report you sendiri.' my sister's right hand was badly bruised and there was lacerations and abrasions at the thumb, index finger and small finger. when my sister protested and said she cant type, he gave a disgusting look as if she was lying and all the wounds was just special effects from a make up artist. when the report was finaly done, he insisted that my sister signed the report despite the lacerations on her right hand, when a simple thumb print with the left thumb was possible(earlier, the lance corporal took this course of action for his report) .

CEPAT??
this sargeant must be pretty bad at hearing or typing, cause what took the lance corporal 30mins to do took him almost 2 hours. and there was 3 or 4 more people waiting outside to make their report.

MESRA, CEPAT DAN BETUL thats the motto of our police force. sadly the way Sj.K conducted himself does not reflect those giant words imprinted outside the police station. it is safe to say that most malaysians do not hold the malaysian police force in high esteem. more often than not, we equate corruption and the police force together. i once had a friend who said to me "show me one clean traffic policeman and i'll show you a leprechaun." while his view is rather pessimistic in nature, that is the general feeling of the public. i do not doubt that there are good and honest policeman out there doing their best in their demanding job and making our country a safer place, for exampel the lance corporal in my story(whose name i regretfully did not remember or i would have added his name into my story). but the fact that there are so many wrong doing by the police that you just cant blame the public for their mistrust. i think its safe to say that us malaysians fear the police more than respect them.

ROLE OF THE GOVERMENT
measures taken by the goverment to boost the image of the police force is laughable and has done little to increase the publics' confidence because many feel that whatever action taken are merely for show. if the goverment really wants to impress the public, they should start taking serious measures like catching and prosecuting corrupted policeman instead of useless campaign such as KEMPEN KHIDMAT MESRA (Friendly Policing). whats the point of having such programs, when you are not doing anything to tackle the real problem-corruption. a cop will be dirty and remain so if there is no heavy deterrent to strike fear into them. why is it that our country has a relatively low number of cases in drug smuggling?? cause everyone, local and foreign, knows that it is punishable by death. im not advocating for the death sentence here, but merely to state my point for the need of a serious deterrent. i personally beleive that dirty policemen and politicians should be given harsher punishment for betraying the trust of the public. another solution is for goverment to set up an Internal Affairs agency, free from the influence and control of high ranking policeman. most countries have one and their sole purpose is so that the police officers are kept in line. you cant expect a cop to investigate another cop. to much sense of camaraderie can blind the investigating officer from his objectives. plus, an investigating officer can always be pressured by a higher ranking police officer who might also be on the take, to stray away from his objectives.

HIGHER PAY
much has been said bout increasing the pay of a policeman to curb corruption. it is our PM's view 'that if a person is greedy, no matter if he is earning a million dollars, he will still be corrupted.' while he might have a point there, i would like to stress that not everyone resort to corruption because they are greedy in nature. most of the low ranking policemen earn less that rm1000 a month and they have families to feed and care for. a policeman in a rural area might just get by with rm1000, but a cop in the city will definetly find it hard to put food on the table for his family and provide the basic needs of his wife and school going children. because of constant and sometimes desperate financial circumstances, a person can be tempted to take a bribe. a policeman might feel if everyone else is doing it, why should he not do it himslef. after all, he is just trying to provide for his family. going by this mentality, corruption is now not something wrong but something noble. this then sets off a terrible precedence. it is only human nature that we avoid the path of hardship and choose the path of least resistance if we know we can get away with it. so by increasing the basic salary of policemen in this country, at least we can help stop those policeman on the take who does it for his family. also to a certain extent, well paid new recruits with a young family will not be tempted to take a bribe. for a cop to be corrupted he must take that first bribe. it only become a habit if he gets away with it. if the need for the 'first bribe' never arises, we will have done a lot to curb corruption.

THE PUBLIC THEMSELVES

"wah, kanineh, that day i kena give police catch man. i quickly quickly throw my money under my seat and keep only RM10. and when the police man come i say i only got RM10. hahaha... so bodoh one them!!" sounds familiar?? how many of us know of people bribing a policeman after being caught for a traffic offence. how many of us have actually bribed a policeman and brag bout it to our friends and family members. its all base on the simple theory of demand and supply. if the public can hold on to a higher moral ground, we wouldnt be discussing bout corruption now. its not all the cops fault. admit it, you are dirty yourself!! if the public doesnt offer a bribe in the first place, the cop cant receive a bribe. i know rm300 is alot of money compared to rm10. again i ask of the public to hold on to higher moral grounds. at least if you pay the RM300 fine, the money goes back to you and the public indirectly thru whatever development that the goverment does with the money. if you bribe the cop, you are not only commiting a sin but also you lose all moral right in judging and critising corrupted policeman. as malaysians we are always fond of pushing the blame on others when something wrong happens. we never do look into ourselves and reflect on our course of actions, but rather cloak ourselves with a mirage of moral righteousness. to stamp corruption, we as the public must also play our role. pay the fine. you might be financially tight for that month. at least the hardship in on earth only and you will be safe from further hardship when your time is up.

after all said, it is still up to the government to take the necessary actions and the public to play their part. talk the talk yes, but please walk the walk to. it is time for us malaysians to shed our 'tidak apa' and 'takdir tuhan' attitude and be proactive in solving this national problem of ours. its not just a problem. its OUR problem.