two weeks ago i had my first posting in the labour theather. since im still in a junior stage of my medical program, i was there just to observe how things were being done. the first one and half hour went by boringly. i was with a mother who was just 6cm dilated. all i did was observe the cardiotopograph(instrument to measure the foetal heart rate and uterus contraction) and time the uterine contraction. was cursing my luck for picking the wrong mother cause by the time she is fully dilated(10cm) and ready to give birth, i will have to leave for my group discussion. but it was nice talking to the mother in between contraction. she is the same age as i. the nurses were nice and friendly. one senior nurse thought me quite a lot about vaginal examination.

at around 10.30, one of the doctor came in and asked me whether i was interested in doing a vaginal examination and an ARM(artificial rupture of membrane).

HOLLY SHIT!!! an ARM!!! i;ve never seen an ARM let alone do one. i've never seen the instrument used in an ARM before. what i had in my mind was this long metal rod with a big hook at the end of it. something like what the dentist use to dig in between your teeth, only in my mind it was bigger....much bigger. so i was afraid i might rupture more than just the membrane. hell, i might actually punture and hook the uterus and the baby's head. imagine seeing your newborn connected to the end of a metal rod.

so i chickened out. i told her i was new and had no experience. so she told me to do just the vaginal examination(later i saw that the ARM instrument was just a plastic rod the length of a pencil with a tiny weeenny hook at the end. guess i need to take some drugs to control my imagination).the lady was lying supine on the bed with her legs spread wide open and very much in pain.you'll be suprise how much the vagina can expand when a lady is in labor. we are suppose to put two fingers in but KNN, my entire hand almost went it man. talk about fisting!!! god damm!!!

thru the mother's shouts and groan of pain, there i was pretending to be an expert at what i do and telling the lady to breathe and relax. im sure if she was not in so much pain, she would have gotten up and whack me with the kidney tray and say, "RELAXS KEPALA HOTAK ENGKAU!! CUBA ENGKAU BERANAK LA, JANTAN SIAL!!!" well, thank god she was in pain.

after the doctor ruptured the membrane, clear fluid came out first. then came all the ooze with blood. and i had to hold the kidney tray near the lady's butt to try to prevent it from soiling the bed. oooh man.....lost all appetite for lunch.

but hey, 1month of this and i'll lose some serious weight. but for now i'll just have to live with the pregnant tummy of mine.

suicide in the hospital

few days back, a guy killed himself in the hospital i was posted in. he was a burmese psychiatric patient who was warded in the surgery ward which was on the 4th floor. he had just undergone a surgical procedure. for reasons only known to him, he left his bed and climbed on to the window ledge. my surgery lecturer saw him on the window ledge and tried to talk him down while all the nurses stood there. all to stunned to do anything. since he was a burmese guy i guess he didnt understand what my lecturer was saying and jumped off anyway. the lecturer managed to catch hold off his hand but couldnt get a firm grip and the guy's hand slipped off. he fell and landed on the cement floor on his head.

when i passed by the site where he landed an hour later, it was already cleaned up but you could see a big dark stain with some pinkish white materials around the area. must be the brain tissues.

the next day, none of of the local papers carried the story.was it because he was just some crazy burmese guy?? to insignificant to be mention. or was it a good cover up by the hospital administrator??

why was the guy not restrained if he was a psych patient?? what if he didnt jumped down but start to attack other patients and hospital staff??

who then should be responsible??