day 1: country mouse goes to the city

had to drop by in brickfields first to settle some personal issues. this was my first time in brickfields. when i got off KL Sentral and walked off into brickfields, for a moment i thought i was back in india. indians were everwhere man. for a good twenty minutes of walking i saw no other malay or chinaman but me. the only difference from india was there were no cows walking on the sidewalk and no crazy auto rickshaw drivers.

met up with the NGO guys in their office. nice bunch of ppl. i will be spending most of my time in PJ instead of batu arang cause it will be easier for me to travel to all the different settlement and detention centers scattered around kl.

Mad, my old school friend was kind enough to let me bunk over his place for the next month. and his place is very near the infamous gasing hill. might just drop by one day to check if the rumor bout ppl getting jiggy there is true or not.

No wantan mee for a month

yoo ppl....

this would probably be my last post....not permanently though. wont be writing anything for a month or so cause i would be off to do my electives in some ulu kampung area called batu arang. if you cant recall the place, i suggest you go to your store room, blow off the dust from your form 2 geography text book and look into it. its an old mining town 45 minutes off from rawang. from wat RG told me, there is nothing but old mines,trees, old mines, trees, old mines.....so i really dont think they have internet connection there. but oh god, i pray the people there do cook pork.

its basically a NGO setup catering to the needs of the migrant society in our country. most of these people do not have access to health care primarily because of financial difficulty and also because of fear of running into the arms of law as most of them are illegal migrants.

the reason i chose this place is because i want to know whether im cut out to do what 'i believe' is to be my calling in life. this is a hell of a good way to find out whether i was suffering from hallucinations and delusions all these years. you know the saying, "when you talk to god, its called praying. but when god talks to you its called schizophrenia."

of course the added incentives was that i was told that i would get the chance to work with people from Doctos Without Borders (Medicens Sans Frontieres). but the greater incentive of all was that i dont need to wear a tie or a lab coat and can go about their place with shorts and tshirts. kanineh, straight i said yes man. no need to think twice.

so hopefully by the time i come back i;ll have lots of stupid stories to write and would have lost enough of weight so that some dumb 5 year old kid in the hospital wont be calling me "badak sumbu."

KNN!!!

mental health

When someone falls to his death, it is not the person's failure in life. It is society’s failure to listen to him.

SUHAINI AZNAM, columnist in the Star newspaper, on why suicide occurs in our community.

Its a mad mad world...

he wrote a very good article on mental health care in malaysia especially focusing on depression and suicide in the Star paper.

these are some cold hard facts from WHO:

• 450 million people world wide are affected by either a mental, neurological or behavioural problem at any one time.
• about 873 000 people die of depression each year.
• one in 4 patients who seeks health care has at least one mental, neurological or behavioural problem but these are often not diagnosed nor treated.
• most country designate less than 1% of their health care budget to mental health.
in malaysia, with a population of 27 million, there are currently less than 1,000 psychiatrist in the goverment hospital and fewer still in the private sector. for example in the state of melaka, there are only 2 psychiatrists in the private practice. annually, only 40 psychiatrists are produce in this country.

the low number of psychiatrist in this country boils down to the fact that many in our society still do not understand the importance of mental health. people with mental illness are stigmatized and discriminated by society. the only friends they have as they wonder around cities or towns semi-naked or in rags are isolation and poverty. even within the medical fraternity itself, psychiatry is sadly considered as an outcast of the medical pratice. while this way of thinking is slowly changing, we are still a long way off in accepting mental health as a medical disease.

our body gets sick sometimes. when an infection occurs, it manifest as fever. when we have a viral infection of the respiratory tract, it manifest as a cough or a stuffed nose. the brain is a part of the body. and like any part of the body it is succeptible to diseases. its funny how society cant apply the same concept when trying to accept mental illness. we rather brand these people as "otak tak center", "tiga suku" , "siow lang" (and the list goes on) etc.society also tend to have this deep rooted fear for people who are mentally unwell. the movie "Psycho" didnt help make things any better as well. instead i think it had the same impact of those with mental illness as "JAWS" had on the shark population. People with mental illness are often thought as people who are violent and dangerous when it is they who are more likely to endure violence. they, more often than not are victims of hate crimes and rape.

robbed off a sound mind by fate, able minded people go one better by robbing them of their dignity. they are ostracized and are often banished to one corner of town. in some families, a family member who is mentally ill of even mentally challenged are tied to a pillar by a chain or locked in a room. cut off from the outside world as though they never existed. to these families, its not about locking away a creation of God for his/her own benefit. its the hiding of a family shame to uphold and protect the family's pride.

but i guess you cant lay all blame on society alone. knowledge on mental disease is still very minimal and understanding of the pathophysiology of it is at best at an infancy level. the most they can up are hypothesis and thats about it. if even doctors and scientist arent definately sure as to why it happens, what more bout the uneducated. as the saying goes "you fear what you dont know." much of the stigma surrounding disease can be prevented by making society more aware of it and by setting up support group members among people who has a loved one who is mentally ill.

but as long as mental health is not viewed as a medical condition but as a weakness of character or a punishment from god for past family sins, the cycle will continue.

being a non-bumi malaysian

few months back there was this big controversy that occured in UPM. apparently it was orientation week and the student council was having it in the cafetaria or some sort. so step in a few UPM chinese students from another association who set up a table to have their own recruitment drive. so a argument....wait let me rephrase that, a "BULLYING" session started. council had some 20 odd students while the chinese group had only some 5-7 fellas.

i read bout it in the papers and did not felt a thing. i thought it was just another misunderstanding that when a bit out of hand. at that time i just couldnt understand what the whole fuss was bout. that was until i saw the video and hour ago on U-tube....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndYvb7GvLDk

when i saw the video i was fucking pissed!!!! 20 odd of them harassing a small group of chinese (the bookworm defenceless type) which included a few girl members. idiots were pushing them around, shoving their shoes and football boots at their faces and screaming at them. and the only thing the poor chink could do was the shout, "Jangan gaduh! Jangan gaduh!!" and all those bastards were laughing at him.

ok look, im not angry because im a chinese and it was the chinese getting pushed around here. i have many friends from all races. if the situation was reversed i would be ashame and angry as well. 20 against 7. how brave of them. how fair can that be. why dont they try doing the same thing down in Petaling street or Jinjang. bloody cowards....

anyway, because the vidoe was mass circulated in the internet, the local chinese press picked it up and it made headlines. due to the public outcry and political pressure UPM had an inquiry into the matter. all the perpetrators were let off with a stern warning becaue their actions were deemed "not serious" as they were just "pushing people and chairs". if you ask me, they got off lightly. you can go speculate why why they got off easy.

on retrospect, the chinse students were wrong in the first place to set up their counter since they have not got official approval from the administration. but a bigger crime was definately committed by the members of the student council. one can understand their anger of having their space intruded, but we are not animals and they are university students at an age where a certain level of maturity would have set in. to behave in the manner they had is shameful and down right disgusting.

the matter did not end after the inquiry. a cyber war of sorts was being raged on the internet. i got a real shocked when i read some of the comments posted on U-Tube.

meangirl: Kudos for Malays!That's what happened when they let Malays/Bumis get into the university with mediocre scores while the Chinese could be denied despite of earning excellent results.

broaguy: fuck you meangirl88, i hope i can fuck your mom and force your dad to fuck you in front of ur buddha statue..fuck u slit eyes..u pig-faced freak chinese

hansiam: brogaguy pls enjoy urself... after that pls use ur fucking koran clean ur sperm!!! ok.

a center for higher education is suppose to be a place where future leaders of this country is being shaped. based on these comments, things dont look to bright for our country. but there is always hope

whitedice29: can we stop the hating in this thread...its just making things worst.wat the diff between u and the guys in the vid if ur going at each others throat like this?theres no diff at all..and please leave the topic religion free...its not a good thing to read.might be hard to control these kinds of violence,but if people who reads this cant even think rasionally,might as well just leave the dream of having world peace.

after 49 years of Merdeka, its sad that we still live under the shadow of racialism. some older people i know feel things are no better than when we were under the british. in fact, they believe that it has actually worsen. lets face it man. we are not as MUHIBAH as we like to potray ourselves to be to the world. you see posters of chinese, malays and indians smilling together as though there is no promblem in the world. yeah right. "air yang tenang jangan disangka tiada buaya." we are living under the constant threat of racial disintegration. i cant help but feel that i would see a racial riot happening in the not to distant future. i've already seen one in this life time (kg gandhi and kg baru incident). under the apparently placid smooth waters of racial relationship, there is a storm brewing from underneath.

and why not. the finger cannot be pointed to the normal rakyat may they be malays, chinese, indians, kadazans, ibans etc. how can the rakyat themselves hope to work with each other in harmony when polliticians and leaders in this country constantly play the race card in order to enhance their standing in their community. how can there be hope if the goverment doesnt have the political will to make hard, unpopular but RIGHT decision that will ensure fairness for all communities. the rakyat look up to their leaders for direction and guidance. if the leader is just a power hungry, selfish piece of shit then how?? how long more before all of us realises that we are MALAYSIANS and not malays, chinese, indians etc??

sometimes as a malaysian chinese, i get the felling that im growing and living on a rented house. you live and grow in it. you love the house and have many fond memories but the land lord constantly reminds you that its not your place and that you are are lucky to be living there as though you dont deserve to be there. and when there is a big problem with the house and you want it fix, the land lord says that its your problem and if you dont like it, you can move out. that is seriously how i feel.

how many times have us non-malays been told to "balik tongsan" or "balik india"??? how many times have we heard of stories of hardworking non-malays in the civil service being passed off for a promotion to a young upstart because of the colour of skin or the name in which he calls God. how many times have we read in the papers of non-malay students with exceptional academic performance failing to get into the university or a scholarship? how many times have we read of orang asli kampungs who do not have clean water supply and electricity??

look, im not against helping those really in need in this country. if you want to give scholarship to poor but deserving students, give them by all means. if you want to help new businessman in the dog eat dog world of business, by all means give it to them. but it seems that only the bumis that are on the receiving end of most things. are there only poor bumis in this country?? are there no poor or derserving people from other races?? im not denying the fact that chinese and indian students do receive scholarships etc, but there are so many more being left to fend for themselves. and who looses out in the end?? why go crying about brain drain everytime and calling those working overseas as un-patriotic?? why ask stupid questions like, "how come non-malays are joining the civil service and police??" if you put such racially discriminating policies, of course they wont want to come back or join the civil service.

why do we always get the impression that we are just visitors in this country. my forefathers might come from a foreign land on a boat but i was born and raised a Malaysian. i know no other country then this. my mother land aint china!!! my mother land is Malaysia and am proud to say that it!! unlike some people i know who wants migrate from this country, i would never do so. why would i?? i know no other home but malaysia. and i love my home.

my fore fathers and the forefathers of others from various races did their part in helping Malaysia earn her indepence and make Malaysia what it is today. why then are we not able to enjoy the same benefits. other races pay their taxes dont they?? we help built up the economy didnt we??

WHY???

i love my country, malaysia dearly. but does my country love me??

trip to PD

well, i survived surgery posting. not sure if we passed the end posting exams but we definately dont need to repeat it. thank god for that. so me and three other 'survivors' decided to reward ourselves with a one night holiday camping trip to tanjung tuan (cape rachado) off port dickson. been planning it for two weeks. its the only thing that kept us going thru surgery posting.

first stop was the light house at tanjung tuan which is situated on a hill. apparently you can only walk around the light house and not into it. so when i walked into the light house building i was greeted rudely by an untidy dirty looking construction guy. "Apa buat di sini!!! keluar!! keluar!!" was shooed off without an explanation. bastard!! hope he falls off the cliff.

next stop: camping site at tanjung tuan beach which is a lagooon. the shore is around 700m from the tip of the cape where the light house stood. there was not much camping site cause of the high tide and short shore line. we finally found a good spot and set up our tent.

before we knew it, this big malay family planted their arsses just 2meters from out tent. bloody noisy. and the children are not toilet trained. morons were peeing on the beached just like tat. and before we knew it, a group of mat rempit set up a tent 2m away own our right. kurang ajar betul man. we were here an hour before them and these assess just conveniently intruded into our space. cant camp other place isit!!!?? nabe!!! we tried to indirectly chased them away by announcing loudly that we had beers and pork with us. but it didnt work. babi betul.

resigned to the fact that our hope of a quiet and peaceful night out is gone, we took out our iced chilled heineken beers and drank it while watching the sunset. fucking great feeling man. for a brief moment, all your problems vanished. its only you, your ice cold heineken and god's gift of beauty to mankind.

as night approached, we started a fire and we soon we were cooking. rice was the first thing we cooked. am proud to say, our camping and cooking skills have not diminish. the rice we cooked over the coal was superb. not a single overcooked rice. next we started cooking curry chicken, chicken kurma, chicken vindaloo, lettuce, fried eggs and of course the main dish- STEWED PORK. oh mama.

tried our hands at fishing. it was bad. not a single bite!!! should have brought the dynamite.

at around 1am, it was low tide. because its a lagoon, during low tide, you can walk out up to 700meters from the shore. there were many people with torch light walking around catching crabs and prawns. we had a go at it and were more succesful than the conventional fishing. arm with only a small torch and a digital camera we started off with our new found adventure. not bad. caught a few crabs. it was hillarious. when the crab started running, we also started running-sideways. once when i was about to squat down to catch the buggar, i accidentaly farted. well, you would think it would slow down the crab, but it actually ran faster.

we actually managed to find a sea cucumber to. disgusting looking thing. but we chinese think its a delicacy. we eat bout every damm thing that moves.

sleep was not to good. our campsite was under a tree. i slept out in the open on a mat. half the mat was taken up by our utensils while i took up the other half. as i was about to sleep, things started to dropped from above. it was fucking guano!!! was to tired and lazy to moved the mat around. besides, there was not much place to move about as well. so the whole night had to endure the bloody bat droppings.

this is how a sleep deprived guano-fied face look like.

hell, cant wait for my next trip there again.

Siti and Datuk K

ok, so Siti Nurhaliza is finally getting married to someone called datuk K(what the hell does K stand for anyway?? datuk kongkek by any chance??)

who the hell gives a shit!!!

apparently lots of people. yeah, i know she is the song bird of the nation(sheila majid is still the best) and sure she is drop dead gorgeous. hell i wouldnt mind marrying her if im not required to cut loose a fold of skin at a certain anatomical site. and of course there is that small problem of paying RM1, 000, 000 for the wedding( you know how many wantan mee that is!!!)

but all these hoo-haa about their marriage is getting out of hand. frankly, im getting sick of it. you open the papers, you see them on the front page. when you watch the 8pm berita perdana they are there too. open up any local magazines, their stories are there. want to enjoy a nice tv show on a sunday afternoon, TV3 does a one hour exclusive on their wedding preparation(hey i dont have astro, so i cant switch channels). actually you cant really blame the couple. its the bloody editors and tv station heads that are to be blame. they report every dam thing. from the seven layered baju kebaya wedding dress to the seven wheel horse carriage they are going to use to the RM5oo,ooo engagement ring she got.

the cream of the crop was this front page article i saw on a local tabloid/daily. its headline was was: Datuk K FIT, Siti OK. and the story was along this line: walaupun umur Datuk K hampir menjangkau 50, tetapi tenaga batinnya masih belum lelap. menurut pakar seks Dr.?? (some moronic sexologist with nothing better to do), peminat siti tidak perlu resah kerana tenage batin lelaki masih kuat walaupun dalam umur lingkungan 50-60an.

what the fuck!!! i thought we came from a conservative society. and here we are discussing about somone's 'tenaga batin' on papers. bodoh, kalau tak boleh buat, makan viagra atau minum kopi jantan la. mangkuk!!!

well, i finally blew my top last night. it was 3am and i was deep in La-La land dreaming of getting kinky with sania mirza and natalie portman when suddenly my hp beeped loudly indicating i had received a sms. it was from hotlink. well, i dont mind for going a wet dream with ms. mirza and ms. portman if Mr Annanda Krishna had decided to reward me with RM5 worth of credit time. but when i opened the msg this was what i got:

a once in a lifetime chance to take pictures with the bride & groom! Join Siti Nurhaliza's SMS Contest 2day. Send CT to 28600. 15sen/msg sent, 50sen/msg
received.

mai cibai.... im switching to digi.

Quote of the week

Maybe in your planet women have one breast. but from my planet women have two breast. why do you think God gave men two hands?? cause women have two breast.

Dr.SivaB, HOD of Surgery department on why you should do mammography for both the breast.

old newspaper of a special kind....

tiu lor....

yesterday my mom called the 'old newspaper' guy over cause the old papers were stacking up nearly all the way to the ceiling. after receiving her cash, mom went back to her daily chores. after 20mins she noticed the guy was still outside the house gate reading something. curious, she went out to enquire what was the matter and then the guy showed her what he was reading.

MY japanese porn magazine!!! MAI CI.......

the mag was birthday gift from a friend who was working at japan at that time. the mag has nothing fanciful. just a bunch of half naked japanese women. i seriously dont know how the hell it ended with a bunch of old papers?? hhhmmm.....i guess my brother is growing up.

anyway, back to the old newspaper guy. and with a voice full of disdained he said to my mom, "eh, why your son reading this kind of things one le???"

and this guy lives in the same neighbourhood as i am. crap.... and knowing how my neighbours are (they and their Radio Malaysia mouth) guess the news that i have a porn mag will make its rounds around the neighbourhood. as it is i think some of my neighbours arent to happy that im coming out with my boxers every night to throw the rubbish. i mean come on man. a man's balls need some air man. i cant be keeping my balls in a spender the whole day. warm temperature fucks the sperms up. cant have retarded sperms swimming around. and its not my fault that their daughters want to have a look at willie and the twins.

expect to get some dirty look from the aunties when i go out to the food court for food.

best sister day....

I LOVE YOU! 2day is best sister (zi mui) day. send this 2 ALL ur sisters inlcuding me if I am one. if you get back 7 you are LOVED!!

i got severeal of this SMS last friday. see the problem if you get to close with the fairer sex. they all start thinking you are their zi mui.

im a GUY dammit!!! call me heng tai ok la.

dont call me your zi mui!!

*frust*frust*

next time i think i need to show them my Willie and the twins just so they know.......